Reader Interactions


  1. I found this essay so comforting. My husband and I have been married 12.5 years, together for 16.5 years (and also parents to three young boys). I wouldn’t exactly call our marriage easy either. And I’ve got a similar set of stories to the author’s, moments in our marriage that were supposed to by idyllic that really weren’t. But we’ve stuck by each other, still love each other, and continue to work through things. Looking forward to the new book!

  2. Several years ago my husband & I, while on vacation, took a guided kayak tour; the guide referred to the tandem kayaks as “divorce boats.” So it’s definitely not just you!

  3. Oh Katherine, I’m still loving over the passive aggressive peanut butter. Your stories sound way too familiar. We also have a terrible double-kayak story form our honeymoon (of course). We also thought we might file for divorce upon coming home from Europe. And yet… here we are. 13 years strong and still smiling (most days). I so agree how much of a difference kindness makes. That and the benefit of the doubt. And so much grace. Thanks for sharing. Congrats on your new book!

  4. Katherine,
    I appreciate your honesty in a society that tends to hide behind
    falsehoods of perfection.
    Marriage is hard there is no doubt about it…therefore persevering
    is necessary and enjoy the good times when they present themselves.

  5. My husband and I tried to manage a 2 person kayak on our honeymoon…it didn’t go so well. Everyone else on the outing thought it was hysterical. We have managed 15 years of marriage so far, so we must have done something right! Just this past year I was talking with a friend who had worked in a sporting goods store when he was younger. Apparently 2 person kayaks were known as divorce boats at the store. We are not alone!

  6. Your stories made me laugh. You sound so married and not just on a date! And isn’t that what married life is about? Trying to figure out how to live with this person who is so opposite of you? Kindness, grace, and forgiveness are necessary every day. Well, and a big sense of humor.

  7. I’m really thankful you shared these stories! I have been dating my boyfriend for a couple years now and love to read up on anything to prepare me for marriage, but most of what I read on blogs often talks about marriage as a honey moon/happily ever after story. Knowing that marriage can’t always be like that, it’s really refreshing and helpful to read about stories I can see myself in, and see that those stories are part of a healthy marriage too. Thanks!

  8. Catching up on my podcasts! I know I’m late to the party!

    Thanks for your stories, they were a lot of fun to read. My husband and I went through a lot of stress in our dating phase. Broke up a couple times, moved to a new state and he had a previous very young marriage that created some baggage. Once we were in, we were all in. Marriage was and has been a pretty smooth ride for us. (Although, I’m non-confrontational, but stubborn and easy-going). We joke that we had a lot of the insecurities and fights before tying the knot. We are very similar, except he is an extrovert and I am a social introvert. He had to realize when I retreated to my room after dinner it wasn’t because I didn’t like him, I just needed space. We spend a ton of time together because he’s a professor and entrepreneur that works mostly at home and I work in our business and raise three awesome boys. People sometimes wonder how we spend so much time together, but it works for us. We also have similar views on what marriage and FAMILY means to us.

    I understand that he is a better husband to me than he was to his first wife and that they saw the world differently, but had never lived in the same state nonetheless same house and raised in super religious households which all factored into why they got married when they did. I know divorce isn’t for everybody, but for them and many friends I know who had “starter” marriages without children it’s just a legal break-up.

    I loved listening to your podcast with Tsh and am looking up the book!

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