Simple but not easy

Our first big fight came five months into marriage. We argued over Christmas presents. Gifts that were meant to express our love and appreciation ignited a verbal assault on one another’s heart.

The argument ended with three words: “I hate you.”

Married life wasn’t going to be as easy as we thought it would be.

Looking back now, eighteen years later, I can see that we unknowingly equated simple with easy. We loved each other and we wanted to change the world together…simple enough.

Love seems simple…but it’s complicated.
Sexual intimacy is simple…but it’s very complex.
Marriage sounds simple…but definitely not easy.

Forgiveness is one word whose definition is simple to explain; yet the concept it represents is so hard to live out. There are some great quotes on forgiveness. A lot of Bible verses talk about it.

But how on earth do you forgive, truly forgive, when what forgiveness requires seems like more than you can give?

My husband Justin and I often share the story of our marriage. Like most married couples, we began with high hopes, but gradually we settled for ordinary and failed to recognize the warning signs, until we almost lost all we hold dear.

Today as we travel the country telling our story, Justin’s affair in 2005 gets a lot of attention. But long before he had an affair, I had a forgiveness issue.

Forgiveness sounds simple…but it’s messy.

What I’ve learned about forgiveness is that it isn’t just the big things that cause bitterness. It is the little wounds and daily disappointments that can cause resentment to build in our hearts and complicate our relationships.

When others hurt us, it’s natural to pick up the stones of bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness. We hold onto them tightly, keeping them close for ammunition the next time we’re wounded. But we fail to recognize that unforgiveness is a weapon that wounds its user.

I used to cling to bitterness. Over time, I allowed resentment to bruise my heart and impair my view of not only my husband, but all of my relationships. Where resentment lives, intimacy dies.

Forgiveness is the healing balm. But forgiveness is not easy.

It’s understandable to live with unforgiveness. We have been wounded. The people who wounded us were wrong. They owe us. It feels fair, even generous, to offer only partial or conditional forgiveness. We will forgive when they make up for what they’ve done.

But this expectation for compensation will always leave a void in your heart—there will be times when they can’t make it up to you. Nothing they say will take away the pain. Nothing they do will erase the memory. Nothing they give will ever restore the hope that was lost.

Conditional forgiveness is not really forgiveness. And it can do just as much damage to your heart and relationships as unforgiveness.

I have found that unforgiveness, in all its forms, causes us to withhold our whole hearts—and not only from the people we haven’t forgiven, but also from God and from those we love. And we cannot be healed and whole, free and fully alive, when we’re holding onto the heavy stones of unforgiveness.

Your past hurts may be holding you back. Perhaps you were abused or overlooked, taken advantage of or lied to. And you may be afraid that if you forgive, you will be admitting defeat. If you forgive, they win.

But forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. In fact, forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart. Forgiveness prevents your past from forfeiting your future. Forgiveness prepares you to move from ordinary to extraordinary.

As I have journeyed through life and sought to live with intention and purpose, the best discovery I’ve made is the power of forgiveness. Like clutter in a closet, bitterness and resentment tend to build up over time. If we desire to live in the freedom and simplicity of heart, it’s important to periodically “de-clutter” our hearts of unforgiveness.

Forgiveness is a process that, if you choose it, will bring freedom to your heart and health to your most important relationships.

Who do you need to forgive?

Giveaway

beyondordinarycover_smallTrisha and Justin are giving away a copy of Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough to ten Simple Mom readers! Simply leave any comment on this post, and you’ll be entered to win. If you’re reading this via email, please click over to the post and leave a comment on the blog.

This giveaway will end tomorrow night, Friday, September 20, and we’ll announce the winners soon after. I hope you win!

You can say no to constant busyness.

To lead your family with peace, you need to know your NOs and YESes. But what are they?

Like Your Life can help you figure them out.

313 Comments

  1. Elaine

    What a beautiful lesson. I would love to read the story behind this,

  2. Onita

    I would love to read more of their story, forgiveness is one of those things that is easier said than done. Great post.

  3. Sue

    Such a valuable lesson to learn, but so difficult to actually follow through with. I would definitely love to read the book as I struggle with this constantly (especially the daily things).

  4. Jennifer

    I would love to read this story of God’s grace and faithfulness thru marriage.

  5. Gayle

    Feel like I still have so much to learn. Would love to read your book. Thanks!

    • Trish

      Forgiveness is definitely a process. I hope our book encourages you along the way.

      ~Trish

  6. Rozana

    You do have such a noble heart. To forgive or not to forgive, simple but not easy, absolutely! Would love to read your book !

    • Trish

      Thank you Rozana!

  7. Rachel

    Love, love this message. I find that the little things, the ordinary every day disappointments, are the hardest to forgive. And it is true that they build up and clutter your life and your mind. We spend so much time organizing and cleaning other parts of our lives…. why shouldn’t we take the time to focus on this aspect too? So happy I found your site- it is so inspirational to me. Thank you!

    • Trish

      Such great words of encouragement Rachel. Thank you!

  8. Tameeka

    Beautiful thought provoking words. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the chance to win a book.

  9. Jessica

    ‘If we desire to live in the freedom and simplicity of heart, it’s important to periodically “de-clutter” our hearts of unforgiveness.’

    Beautifully said, this quote is going in my journal to remember over the manu years of marriage and friendships ahead.

    (Oh, and I’m from the UK so don’t believe I can be entered into the giveaway, that’s ok, I just wanted to comment on your beautiful words!)

  10. Ramona

    I’d like to read that one. So if i am allowed to take part in the giveaway, it would be great.

    Greetings from Germany.

  11. jo

    Would love to read more of this. Always need inspiration and more self -reflection.

  12. zuzi

    I’d definitely love to read this book!

  13. Janette

    Thanks for this post. Would love to read more in the book.

  14. Naamah

    That thought about how harbouring stones of negative emotions only hurts you is so true. Forgiveness, grace and love feel so good to receive and are only made better when they are given. This was a good reminder. Thankyou.

  15. Clair

    Sounds like a wonderful tool to enhance one’s marriage.

  16. Library Momma

    Would love to read this book!

  17. Melissa

    I would enjoy this book!!! 🙂

  18. ariana

    A copy of this book would be fantastic.

  19. Becky Bertrand

    Definitely need reminding of this lesson time and again. I would love to read more of your story. Thanks for sharing!

  20. Janet J.

    Beautiful post.

  21. Janelle

    I would live to read this book. Thanks for the chance to win one!

  22. Michaela Culpepper

    Wonderful insight!! We forget to watch out for the little things that build resentment when they are damaging our marriage little by little. Thank you!

  23. LJ

    Thank you for writing this. I opened and read this email at a time when I really needed to hear these kind of thoughts. I was so close to shutting the door on a few relationships where I do feel resentful and your post has opened my eyes and given me a different perspective that I am only hurting myself more by carrying around this emotional baggage …..and perhaps maybe its me who needs to adjust my behaviour and not always wait for others to do so. Thank you x

    • Trisha Davis

      Thank you so much for sharing that LJ. Praying for you as you allow that resentment go and find freedom.

      • Bindi

        My relationships with family & my husband have improved since letting go of resentment, hurt and pain. I feel it only destroys my well being, by holding on to the pain. Many would think that fogivining make a person weak, I feel it requires strenght & committment. True Forgiveness is difficult concept to grasp, and would like to keep being a forgiving person in all my past, present and future relationships. Thank you for sharing.

  24. OFG

    I love the message in this post. So true!

  25. Kim

    Powerful & so very needed! 🙂

  26. Emily

    I’d love to read this book – thank you for sharing your heart with us!

  27. Beth

    The post hits the nail on the head. If I don’t win the book, I’m definitely buying it.

  28. Hilarie

    Thanks for the chance to win this – definitely speaks to my heart!

  29. Rachel

    These words are gold. Written gold. I need to learn this lesson over and over again it seems. I would love to win a copy of your book 🙂

  30. Sara M

    Thank you for sharing your story! I use it as a warning and call to me for when I get married someday.

  31. beth lehman

    forgiveness… such an important lesson to learn.

  32. janet

    What a needed read today! Thank you!

  33. HSandy

    Trisha-

    I so needed to read this today…my husband and I are nearing the brink of divorce everyday, and reading this I saw myself….I am bound in resentment of his affair, unable to let go of the hurt and resentment….I need to release my “in forgiveness”…

    • Trisha Davis

      HSandy, thank you for sharing your heart. I am sorry for what you’ve been through. There is hope and healing is possible. I am praying for you.

  34. Catherine

    Thanks for sharing–I’m going to think about forgiveness all day now.

  35. Margaret

    Thank you for this post!! It’s amazing how the right words can come at the right time! I’ve been going thru a difficult time during which my marriage is being tested. You are so right about it being the little daily things that can eat away at a relationship. Last night was the breaking point and my husband and I had a big fight and I am not one to forgive easily. But I know that I must forgive him if I want us to be happy again but I’m so hurt. Your blog was in my email when I woke up today and its just what I needed to hear. So thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself with those of us that need to know we aren’t alone in this and that it is worth the fight. I’ll be thinking hard all day on your words and on my need, for myself and my marriage, to forgive! You are an inspiration to me 🙂

    • Trisha Davis

      Thank you Margaret. So glad this post found you at just the right time.

  36. Kerry

    Marriage is so hard and you’re right, it is the daily disappointments that can really add up. I’d love to read your story!

  37. Michele

    What an encouraging story. The book sounds good too!

  38. Michelle

    I would LOVE to win a copy of your book! 🙂 Forgiveness is a gift that sometimes is very hard to give. I am learning more and more about forgiveness and would love to hear more of your forgiveness story!

  39. Anna

    So true, choosing to forgive is such hard work, but sooo freeing and healing. I have had seasons in my life when only by asking Gods help to forgive have I been able to. But boy does he come through when you ask.
    Years ago I was really hurt by my college room mate. I prayed and prayed that God would help me to forgive her. About 6 months later she appogised to me and I had genuinely firgotten what she had done. That had to be God.

  40. Kelly

    We are currently going through a difficult time and these are words I definitely need to remember. Thank you.

  41. Liz

    I have watched your video and read about you online and would LOVE to read your book! Thanks so much for sharing your story – it is so powerful and gives hope to those in hard places.

  42. Cassandra

    Thank you for this. *breath* I can relate so deeply with this story – forgiveness, especially when you’ve been hurt deeply by things like an affair – that’s tough stuff. My husband has hurt me through his addiction to porn for most of our marriage. Even as I sit here right now, I am lost in the unwillingness to let go. He’s been ‘clean’ for 2 years, and I still hold on to the hurt… which I know is wrong. It’s so hard. You’re right, very, very complicated. Even with Christ on my side, still – very challenging to move past the deep hurts.

  43. Michelle

    “When a Good Marriage Isn’t Good Enough”—It’s the subtitle that caught my eye immediately. It’s where we are. We are in a good marriage, but we’re finding that isn’t good enough. We are struggling to hold on to each other, even in the midst of hurting each other daily. This book sounds like it hold a lot of hope and we would love to read it. Thank you for sharing your story.

  44. Melanie

    Thank you for sharing your story!

  45. Miriam

    I love receiving email updates from you, and enjoy reading every day life stories that help me in my everyday life! It would mean so much to win a copy of this book, I feel as if I could get great use out of it! Whether I win or not, I’ll definitely be checking it out to purchase on my own.

  46. Shannon

    I would love the chance to read this book. Thank you for sharing your story!

  47. sally

    Getting married in 3 weeks and would love to read this! Thank you –

  48. kathe hall

    Thank you for sharing. Your wisdom is proudly appreciated.

  49. Mary Martin

    I was reading your article and about half way through got a phone call which made it very applicable. During the conversation, I kept glancing back at the screen looking for the pointers on handling the situation with grace and forgiveness. Thanks for the encouragement that forgiveness and not only sets me free, but is a shot of health for the relationship.

  50. Wendy

    Forgiveness is something I need to work on, I would love to learn more!

  51. Shannon H

    The whole time im reading this Im thinking Yes, this is me. For three years I have worked on my bitterness and unforgiveness towards a husband who continues to hurt me deeply. We have got to choose every moment as the one where we try again to forgive and live new.

    • Trisha Davis

      Thank you for sharing Shannon. Forgiveness is a process for sure. It is sometimes a daily, even and hourly choice. Praying for you and your husband.

  52. Rachel

    Thank you for sharing — I needed to read this today!

  53. rachael

    I need to remember this. Forgiveness is almost as hard as marriage.

  54. Julia

    I’d love to read this!

  55. Alicia

    I would love to read more of their story.

  56. susan

    Powerful word Forgiveness but even more powerful is the ability to truly complete the action.

  57. itsasne

    I’m going to have to print this article, keep it always with me, and read it over and over…!! Beautifully written. So many good points in there.
    Thing is, HOW do we forgive? How do we truly forgive from the heart, how do we make peace with all the hurt and move past it?
    x

  58. Tricia

    I wanted to share a great resource that I have gained so much from: its called Radical Forgiveness…Colin Tipping has a blog and website with a lot of free material on how to work through something painful….I was deep in depression feeling so sad over someone who had hurt me deeply when I listened to the beginning of one of the cd’s and Colin said “Forgiveness is not letting bygones be bygones…it is understanding nothing truly bad ever happened.” RADICAL. I bought the cd’s, worked through the worksheets, actually got to share the cd’s WITH the person who had hurt me so…amazing really. anyway. It is a major thing to forgive…but the only way that feels organic and true is when you really can shift your whole perspective to understanding that what has hurt you most offers the most opportunity for growth…so then the person who hurt you is actually someone you can thank for giving you that opportunity. You don’t have to be their friend, or in contact…its private, for yourself, in your heart…so individual…anyway. Sounds like your journey and this book are just along these lines so I thought I would share….

  59. Georgia

    I would love to read your book.

  60. Jennifer S

    Would love to and need to read this! My marriage is in a broken state. Would be grateful for any nuggets of wisdom from this book.

  61. Alanna

    Forgivness is such a hard thing to give, true forgiveness. I only wish that this was something that I could have thought of prior to my divorce, perhaps my life would be different if we both could have forgave the other.

  62. Alexis

    I’d love to read this book

  63. Deb

    Great post, would LOVE to read the book and the whole story. Thanks.

  64. Kirstin

    Sounds like a book every married couple could use.

    • Trisha Davis

      Thanks Kirstin. We hope the books helps many marriages.

  65. Danielle

    Sounds like a great book! Thanks for sharing!

  66. Alexa Goddard

    I would love to read more of their story! Thanks for a great giveaway!

  67. Melissa Arey

    Forgiveness is such a hard concept to completely embrace. Reading your posts each day have been very inspirational. The book looks very good.

  68. Laura

    Looking forward to reading your book!

  69. Kelley

    I loved several things stated here, especially about bitterness’s “build up” like a cluttered closet. I use bitterness vs. “unforgiveness” because the latter is no such word, which to discover that was also eye-opening. I’m preparing a marriage retreat lesson on apology for January. Lots of food for thought in today’s post. Thanks!

    Kelley~

  70. Angelina

    I struggle with bitterness and resentment; intimacy is lacking in my relationships…

    I strongly desire to live in the simplicity of heart and mind…

    I am very eager t be prepared to move from ‘ordinary’ to eaxtraordinary’ !!

  71. Melissa

    Thank you for sharing! Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things in life, but so important to our relationships. I would love to read your book.

  72. Kamisha Sullivan

    Sounds like a good book and would love to have a copy. Thanks for the chance.

  73. Katherine

    Would like to read this book. Thank you for sharing.

  74. Julie H

    Would love to read this story of redemption. So true that the little daily disappointments in marriage can run the deepest in our hearts. This post was a good reminder for me this morning to let go.

  75. Angie

    Great giveaway!

  76. Sherah

    Thanks so much for this post. Unforgiveness is my tendency, and I hadn’t realized how it affected my relationships until I read this post. God is using this in my life today!

  77. Stacie

    A meaningful message to start the day. I am all in on the need to forgive but struggling with the”how to!” Perhaps a follow up blog post? Many thanks!

  78. Jenna

    Tears so early in the morning ! Thank you for the honest truth and the encouragement to seek to forgive others, especially spouses.

  79. Maria

    This really struck close to home. So many people tell me that I have this perfect relationship and marriage and how they want to emulate what we have. What I try to point out is that only the two of them are in the relationship and will know what’s going on. You are so brave to put it all out there. My husband has had two affairs and we are still battling through our situation one step in front of the other. We are FAR from perfect and the hardest thing that we chose to do is try to forgive each other and work on our marriage. It would be SO easy to just walk away from the pain and the hurt.

    • Trisha Davis

      So proud of you guys for fighting for each other. It isn’t easy but it is worth it. You are in my prayers.

  80. Danielle

    Thanks for sharing your story. I would love to read this book. I am struggling with forgiveness, so this post struck close to home.

  81. Afton

    I’m so glad I clicked on this this morning! I really needed to hear a lot of what was written in this post. Thank You!

  82. Marty C

    I love my wife and daughters and want to live the rest of our lives extraordinarily in Love serving The Lord and one another. Thanks for what you guys do! 🙂 God bless

  83. Debbie

    Godly truth! Thank you for sharing your heart and testimony to God’s redeeming Love when we walk out His will,plan & purpose for our lives. This post was perfectly timed and I am so grateful for your willingness to share such intimate details of your life. Thank you for being a messenger of HOPE and Truth. You have blessed and enriched my day and life! Will enjoy reading the book! Rejoicing in Hope, Romans 12:12

  84. Lisa

    I’d love to be entered for a chance to win the book! Sounds like an amazing story.

  85. Sara

    This was a great article. Forgiveness is not easy, but it sets you free from all the bitterness and hurt that you’ve held on to, sometimes for far too long. I would love to read your book!

  86. Jennifer

    Wonderful post with a great message. Would love to read your book!

  87. Kel

    We could all use a little more forgiveness, I know I need to do some soul searching over this one. Marriages are under attack and need strengthening, thank you for your post. If being in Australia doesn’t rule me out, I’d love the chance to win a book! Thanks!

  88. Lisa

    I would appreciate winning your book because I have always had a hard time forgiving people in my life. I tend to hold on to past trangressions and never let go. I realize it is not healthy but it is very hard to change.

  89. Jennifer Hanson

    I needed to read this today. Thank you.

  90. Sara

    Have our first baby will be a wonderful addition to our already wonderful marriage. We cannot wait!

  91. Julie

    I am learning what it means to forgive a spouse who has refused to express sorrow or regret for his betrayal of our marriage. Thank you for being God’s messenger today.

  92. Linda

    My husband and I are always striving to go beyond the ordinary in our marriage. Your book sounds like somehing we would both enjoy!

  93. leslie

    Great post, I really needed to hear this today. thank you!

  94. Lois Rosenberry

    I would love to read your book. My husband and I have been married 26 years but it is a daily blessing to continue keeping our love alive.

  95. Bridget Stevens

    sounds like an interesting read!!

  96. Kim

    Ohmygracious I’m so so glad I read today’s post! I nearly deleted it when cleaning up my inbox this morning.
    Conditional forgiveness is something I have not thought about… I’ve taught others on the dangers of conditional love and conditional respect, but have not considered what you taught me this morning.. It’s such perfect timing bc I’m dealing with a very fresh blow of betrayal in my marriage as recent as Aug 28 is when God brought all things to light. I’m experiencing a brokeness I never dreamed possible. Thankfully we are in counseling with a very wise and godly woman.
    I love your writings and your heart! Thank you for being real and transparent for the good of all your readers! I will be sharing this very valuable post with others.
    God bless you abundantly….

    • Trisha Davis

      Thank you so much Kim. I’m so glad it encouraged you.

  97. Catherine

    I loved this…it’s amazing to ask god to reveal to you who/what you need to forgive…things come up that you didnt even realize needed healing.

  98. Sandy

    I was convicted over the idea of partial forgiveness. Obviously an area I still need to work on with God.

  99. Jamie

    Looks like a great read, thanks!

  100. Nancy

    I know several people that need to read this book! Thank you Peace be with you all.

  101. Sarah B

    Powerful message!! I think many of us struggle with forgiveness and it can poison all our relationships! I would love to read more!

  102. Jenna

    Thank you for this post! So excited to read your book!- Jenna

  103. Liesel

    Great post. I would love to read this book!

  104. Jo-Anne

    I am on a pastoral care team for missionaries. I am going to order several of these to take to our retreats/conferences we do annually for our folks on the field.
    When we consider what Jesus did on the cross how can we withhold forgiveness? Nothing is unforgivable. MAY TAKE SOME WORKING THROUGH BUT we can’t afford to hang on to it.

    • Trisha Davis

      Awesome. Thank you so much Jo-Anne.

  105. Virginia

    Still struggling with the concept of forgiving when my husband continues to hurt me. I could really use a book like this. Thanks for the giveaway.

  106. Bren

    Thanks for sharing some of your story. I would love to read more! My husband & I often say we don’t want “just a good marriage” … we want extraordinary. But knowing how to get there is definitely not easy!

  107. lissa

    sounds like I need to learn forgivness in a whole new sense

  108. Kelly k

    Thank you for the challenging article and the opportunity!

  109. Christi

    I would love to read the rest of this book. I read the intro and I need your book.

  110. Merrideth

    Like so many others here, I woke up and found this in my email. This has been the hardest week of my life. I struggle every day to keep my head above water. Without going into details, I feel like this was put here for me to read today. It is indeed the little things that sometimes cut you the deepest. I believe in God. I believe that with God, we can get through anything. That includes the deep, dark holes in marriage that you never expect you will live through.

  111. Karin

    Such a tough lesson to learn. I think we’re all works in progress….

  112. Lorelei

    Id like to enter the giveaway!

  113. Kelli

    This book sounds like a winner!

  114. Tina

    I have a similar story. You are not alone!

  115. Robin

    I love the cluttered closet metaphor. You’ve got to be on it if you want it clean. I want to ruthlessly root out Unforgiveness! Would love to read the book.

  116. Melody

    We’re only 3 months into our marriage and we’ve already learnt pretty quick that it’s not easy at all! Somehow we though that just having those love feelings for each other would be enough! Little did we know how complicated and hard it really is! But we’re certainly glad we chose each other for this hard but worth it experience!! Would love to read your book: there’s always time to make a marriage better and stronger!

  117. Kristie

    I would love to read more about their journey. I will be purchasing this book even if I’m not chosen to win it.

  118. Erin

    Thanks for sharing! We all need the power of encouraging and inspiring stories for the hard things of life.

  119. Dawn

    I am dealing with forgiveness…or lack of, right now. I’d love to read your story.

  120. Shauna

    This was a lovely post on a topic that I often struggle with. Thank you for sharing.

  121. Ashley

    Love this post! Forgiveness is an area I am still growing in daily after hurt and betrayal from “friends”. Forgiveness truly is about my heart condition, but it can be so hard especially when an apology from the other person never comes. I have been wanting to get your book for awhile. Love all your posts!

  122. Andrea

    I love my husband and our marriage, but I can easily fall into the trap of our marriage being “good enough.” I’d love to do some reading on the topic!

  123. Laurie

    Understanding that forgiving does not mean forgetting or condoning is perhaps the greatest challenge I face today. Letting go of hurt and anger sounds so simple and yet to put these simple ideas into daily practice seems immensely difficult. I look forward to reading your book.

  124. Caitlin

    What a great post! I read this at a time when I really needed to hear this. Sounds like an amazing book!

  125. Carrie

    Great post, thank you! I am currently in a situation myself requiring forgiveness. Would love to read more in the book!

  126. Mama23ms

    Would love to read the story, and find out how you’ve recovered. I needed to read this today for so many reasons.

  127. S.G.

    It amazes how your posts seem to speak directly to me and what I am experiencing at the time. Thank you for your inspiring story, I am struggling with forgiveness and I you have helped me see that by holding onto the resentment I am actually preventing the relationship from moving forward. It’s not all ‘their’ fault. I have no idea how to let go of the resentment but I have to.. somehow.

    Thank you for all you do.

  128. Rachel

    I would love to read this book and then share it with my friends!

  129. S.G.

    Thank you for your beautiful words and thank you for helping me to see that by holding onto resentment you prevent the relationship from moving forward. I hope I can somehow learn to forgive so I can get on with enjoying my relationship.

  130. Laura

    My marriage ended in divorce because neither one of us was able to forgive; and it is still difficult to forgive all the past wrongdoings and the current ones, as well, while we still parent our children together. I have to consciously forgive this man every day of my life so I can be a better parent to my kids. Forgiving the past is so much easier now that the hurtful things now have a much sharper sting.

  131. Missy June

    I would love to read this book. I am recently remarried and so grateful for this “re-do.” I’m gathering all the tools I can in order to this marriage well. Thank you!

  132. Heather

    What a great post on what it truly means to forgive. Would love to read their book.

  133. andrea

    Thank you for this beautiful message. I definitely need to work on this….

  134. Laura K.

    I would love to read your book if this post is a reflection on the life lessons you have learned through the years. Marriage is work and those who don’t keep working at it either end up without marriages or in unhappy ones.

  135. Naomi

    Resentment is certainly toxic to any relationship, but I wonder about what comes after forgiveness (whether for the little annoying things or the big trust-destroying things)? Pretending it never happened (and thereby facilitating a rinse-and-repeat situation)? Setting up boundaries? What kind of boundaries? Forgiving those who hurt you was emphasized in a big way all through my childhood and young adult years, and it now seems that I’m spending the rest of my life trying to figure out the next step after that. In so many situations that I observed growing up, forgiveness was essentially a pass for bullies. I’d like to think it’s more than that, but what?

  136. Caroline

    What a great message. My parents struggled with an “ordinary” marriage that led to an affair (and then another), until God finally turned their marriage into the one they had been praying for. I’d love to read your book and see your take on all this as my husband and I work to keep our marriage from the same pitfalls our parents experience.

  137. Jordan

    Would love to read their story, and maybe glean some hope for my own situation.

  138. Melisa

    Thank you so much for this article, 4 days after our 10th anniversary I found out that my husband had cheated on me, on top of many issues that we were already going through. Is has been 4 months that he’s trying to get my forgiveness and because I love him and I want my family together, I have been trying to forgive him; what I read is exactly what I have been feeling. It was very much needed. Thank you!

  139. Meagan

    I would love to have a copy of this book. I have printed this post and will keep it in my planner as a reminder. I am constantly working on forgiving and not becoming bitter towards my husband. I have bitter, unforgiving parents, so it is hard not to fall into the habits that I learned from them for so long. It is a constant effort to not fall into that trap

  140. Meagan S

    Thank you for that good reminder. It’s a lesson I’ve been working on for a while now; sometimes it takes a daily choice to forgive! I pray for all those whose marriages and relationships are filled with hurt, bitterness, and unforgiveness.

  141. Christine

    I love reading your inspirational insights each day. I even have your post On Gratitude hanging on my wall at work to remind myself each day to be grateful of what I have around me and in my life.
    Thank you so very much!

  142. Melanie

    I have a similar story and I would love to read theirs. It’s not something I talk about with anyone so reading about it would be a good thing for me.

  143. Mindfulmimi

    Hi,
    This goes right to my heart and made me cry. 2 years ago my husband told me he was in love with someone else. After trying many right and wrong things, I moved out a year ago. We still ‘saw’ each other until recently. And I have now decided to end it and get a divorce because forgiveness was a one way street and our couple could not find a way back together. So I am sad today and it helps to read about other people who went through this. It gives hope.
    M

  144. Ashlee

    Great article and I’d love to read this book!… side note, you do not look old enough to be married 18 years, (and I mean that in the most positive way possible) but I’ll take your word for it!! 🙂

  145. Suzanne

    I would love a copy of your book. I appreciate your transparency. I have learned a lot from you already! THANK YOU!!!

  146. Shanna Brown

    Thank you for this feed post today, it really touched me in that I have had a similar experience. I love her with all of my heart and being, but have found it so difficult to really forgive and move on. I want to grow and become closer than ever before. I just don’t know how. Thank you for the opportunity.

  147. Laura

    What an insightful post! I would love to win a copy of the book.

  148. Sue H.

    This sounds like a great book with Godly wisdom about marriage. I’d love to win it!

  149. Sarah Noll

    This was great to read! I have a few people I need to forgive, this was a good reminder of that! Thanks

  150. kinkar

    WOW! Amazing, truly healing words! To see that you have both chosen the high road path to togetherness is so inspiring, and I’m sure that sharing your stories and insights, together, to others is life changing for you AS WELL AS all those you touch. Thank you for all that you give to the rest of us 🙂

  151. Michelle

    Thank for sharing your story, I look forward to reading your book!

  152. Leigh Ann

    I would love to have this book to read. Sometimes total forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to do. I’m always open to anything that would help me with this process.

  153. Melissa B.

    Revealing reading for me in my own marriage. Would love a copy of the book!

  154. Michelle

    Walking this out in our marriage, could use some encouragement by hearingore of your story.

  155. Emily R.

    I think this would be a great read.

  156. Theresa S.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I would love to read more….

  157. laurie

    sounds like a great book! beautiful post. thanks.

  158. Cynthia

    After an unexpected discovery meant more than a little bit of turbulence for our marriage a couple of weeks ago, I would love to read the rest of this book.

  159. Nicky

    Would love to add this book to my collection!! Thanks for the chance.

  160. rikki

    looks like a great read!

  161. Jana

    Would love to give this book to my son who is marrying the love of his life one month from today. Thanks for sharing your insight and wisdom!

  162. Melanie A.

    I would love to read this book! It sounds like a great read.

  163. Victoria

    I’d love to read this book!

  164. Christine

    Wow…I was just listening to this couple talk on the radio a few minutes ago on Focus on the Family! (I’m sure not a coincidence – a God-thing…) But I was disappointed that they had to cut off their story and I guess the rest is on tomorrow, so I’m going to try and listen then. I would love to read their book – sounds like it could be encouraging to lots of married couples, especially for some of us who feel like we might be in a “dry spell in our relationship” after several years of marriage…

  165. Alice

    I would love to read more about forgiveness. It is a topic that I’ve been exploring for a while.

  166. Anne

    Thank you for allowing us strangers into such an intimate part of your life. Humbled and encouraged to read this. I can so relate to the pain that bitterness in my heart inflicts not only on those I love but to me as well.. I plan to share this with some family members struggling with bitterness in their relationships.

  167. Nereida vazquez

    Struggling these days with the very concept of forgiveness. How do you forgive someone that has hurt you and yet they do not seek forgiveness from you?

  168. Kristin Thomas

    I would love a copy of this book. Forgiveness is an area I struggle with and would really like to work on it. I, too, have had similar hiccups with my husband and I thought I had forgiven him, but I am not sure I have fully. Thank you for this post.

  169. Kristin Thomas

    I would love a copy of this book. I have had a similar situation and thought I had forgiven my hubby, but I am not sure I have forgiven him fully. Thank you for this post. I needed it today. (I tried to comment before and it didn’t seem to work so I am trying it again. If there are 2 comments from me I am sorry)

  170. Kristi

    My husband and I have always agreed that infidelity was a deal breaker. I would be interested in reading how a Christian couple has overcome such an obstacle.

  171. Bonnie

    This is a great post. I’d be honored to receive a copy of your book.

  172. Amber B

    Such beautiful thoughts spoken from the heart. Thank you for sharing 🙂

  173. Ashley

    What an extremely relevant post to the chaos that is going on in my life right now. I found out three weeks ago that my husband had been having a physical & emotional affair. I am still struggling daily with working my way through this reality that is now our lives. I love him and am doing my best for forgive him. This was a gentle, yet wonderful, reminder that true forgiveness is the only way I am going to heal from this whether or not we remain together. “And you may be afraid that if you forgive, you will be admitting defeat. If you forgive, they win.” This quote struck me the most…I am very much struggling with feeling this way. As though if I forgive him for the horrible decisions he made and the hurt he has caused myself and our family, that I am in some way saying it was okay what he did. That he can do all of that and still be with me and still be a part of our family. I need to let go of those feelings for myself and certainly for my marriage if it is to survive.

  174. Carina

    Great post- really gets you thinking. I would love to read the book.

  175. Lawana Gray

    Would love to read the book. Love the openness.

  176. Corry

    I am in need of encouragement because my story is quite similar. Betrayal is a tough one. Would love to read your book!

  177. Melissa

    I would love to read their story, too! I love it when people are open enough to share their struggles in order to help others. It’s a beautiful vulnerability.

  178. Liz R.

    You’ve given me something to chew on today. Thanks.

  179. Desiree

    I have to say how timely this is for me. I left my husband in march because I felt that years of his alcoholism had been more than I could take anymore. We spent a month apart and it that time I confided in another and in doing so have caused damage to my marriage I never thought possible. We sit at a crossroads, my husband wondering if I’m committed or if I’m just going to leave again when life gets hard. I’m going to share this article with him and perhaps we can both find a way to work on true forgiveness. Thank you for sharing!

  180. Jennifer

    Great post! Very timely.

  181. Vanessa

    Hi Trisha & Justin,

    Thank you for your nice blog message on Simple Mom. I’ve been crazy-busy organizing my office today and so I had my computer “speak” your story to me. Even dealing with the computer’s voice, I still could feel the emotion from your words. At times, I felt like it was hard to swallow. I believe too, that it’s mostly the little daily let-downs and disappointments that we dwell on that leads to a crushed intimate relationship. We’ve been married for 16 years and it’s been awhile since we’ve felt a true connection. We work so hard at getting this back daily! We will not give up; we understand that sometimes we must “keep on swimming”. (reference Finding Nemo – ha). I’d love to read your book. Thanks!

  182. kathy w

    I struggle with forgiveness, it seems to touch my soul and I have such a hard time.

  183. Lori

    Would love to have this book! The timing of this post could not have been any better!!

  184. Jennifer S.

    Such a beautiful and compelling explanation of why forgiveness is so very important and how our own lives are stunted and poisoned when we fail to forgive fully and unconditionally. It is easier said than done however. I would love to read your book.

  185. LiisaR

    What a powerful story!!!

  186. Rebecca

    Great post and would love the book it seems like it would be helpful for any couple. Who I need to forgive is my mother it has been a few years since our last argument but, the things that were said still have salt in the wound.

  187. Juli vrotney

    I would like to read this book….it would be very helpful in my marriage.

  188. Mindy

    Great post! I think the hardest lesson I’ve ever learned was that forgiveness is NOT excusing the behavior but is simply (or not so simply) a promise not to hold the behavior over the persons head. I could never really grasp forgiveness until I understood this difference. Now I realize that forgiveness (like you said) is a gift to myself. It frees me from hurt and anger.

    Thank you so much for sharing this.

  189. r

    This book sounds like something I need to read.

  190. Laura

    This is just what I needed to read today. My husband and I are struggling, well beyond struggling. Your book is something I’d love to have as a resource.

  191. Leah

    Thanks so much for your story and advice. How completely true. I’d appreciate reading your book.

  192. Kristi C

    My hubby and I just celebrated four months of marriage yesterday. I’d love to read this book! We want a marriage that lasts our lifetime and is better than good. 🙂

  193. Carmen

    Thank you for the chance to win this book!

  194. Robyn Wiebe

    Thanks so much for sharing this! I needed to hear it today. I hope I win this book, I think it would be good to read it together… Marriage is hard! No matter how long we have been married, and it seems to go through a rough patch…or a blah patch after every baby 🙁 We all need God and help from others sometimes to get back to where we should be and move beyond to Extraordinary 🙂

  195. Beth M.

    Holding on to negativity has always resulted in such pain for me. Lost friendships, disappointing behavior from myself, strained relationships within my family. Letting it go, being self-sufficient in myself and God to not NEED apologies, compliments or restitution. With God’s grace, and not sweating the small stuff (virtually everything), I am much more content, relaxed and competent.

  196. Laura

    I’d love to win this book. Thanks for the giveaway!

  197. Jen T

    In spite of being on the other side of some serious marital problems and having realized how very important forgiveness is, in the rush of the everyday, I think I had kind of forgotten. Thanks for a much needed reminder!

  198. Rebecca

    Thank you. I Needed this today and would love to read the book

  199. Lianne

    Looks like a good read!

  200. Cynthia

    Thanks for a great post.

  201. Tara Schmidl

    Yep, we ALL must deal with forgiveness. I mean, who has never wished ti be firgiven? I can’t imagine a single person on earth. 🙂 Thus book sounds very motivating – I would be grateful to read it.

  202. Jennifer McMurray

    Praise God for this message you have about forgiveness from your story.
    I love how you talk about the word simple and how it isn’t an easy word.
    Thanks!

  203. Taylor-Made Ranch Homestead

    Ironically enough, this is a topic that resulted in a very long conversation in our church study class lately. Is forgiveness only complete when the HURT is gone? If you forgive and hold no ill will toward the one that wronged you but you still feel hurt because of it, is your forgiveness valid? You can’t say you don’t hurt anymore if you DO. Not sure we even came up with a solid answer, but this post was perfect timing for me.

    ~Taylor-Made Ranch~
    Wolfe City, Texas

  204. Jamie

    Sounds like a great book!

  205. Maria

    I too needed to read this today. I am so angry all the time, at my husband mainly. After reading this I realize I have to forgive him. Not that he has done anything really bad when I think of it, he is a good man. He is just human though, and not the dream super dad I projected before we had kids. He is a good father and husband in so many ways, and I do love him, but I can’t be so angry when he I just human, and makes mistakes. I am human too, and he let’s me be. I have to let go of my anger, forgive him or we will both be so lonely. But how do I do that?

  206. Stephanie

    I would love to read more of your story!

  207. Emily McMurtrey

    Thanks. I needed to hear this today.

  208. Leslie Wright

    Thank you for sharing

  209. Laura

    I felt like this post was speaking just to me. I have lived with unforgiveness for 20 years now, and I still have not figured out how to change that.

  210. Cecilia

    Sounds like a book I need to read.

  211. Amy Hoogstad

    Thanks for the giveaway!

  212. Adriana

    Wow, what a powerful and brave step in life to write a book on such real issues-happening everyday. I’d love a copy!!

  213. AmyLeigh

    We’re 5 years into this whole marriage thing, but my husband and I still have much to learn. Here’s to hoping for a win! 🙂

  214. Nadia

    What a powerful message! I would love to soak up more of this wisdom and share the book with my counseling clients as well.

  215. Stephanie

    My husband and I have been married for 9 years. In the second year of our marriage we had our first son. He had Down Syndrome and passed away after 30 days. We felt with years of miscarriages and infertility. Three years ago we adopted our son Timothy. He has been a blessing and a challenge to older parents

  216. Heather Prouty

    I would love to read your story!

  217. SM

    I don’t typically feel drawn to read a book on marriage but I truly want to read your story an insight. Your words were like fresh air for our strained marriage. Blessings to you!

  218. Jane

    Would love to read this with a friend who is going trough a tough time.

  219. Megan M.

    Wow! I would love to read this book! I believe so strongly in forgiveness in marriage because I know God does.

  220. Cheryl

    I would love to read this book!

  221. Amber

    Sounds like the book would be a very interesting read. Great post!!

  222. Natalie

    I would love to read this book. The statement “Like most married couples, we began with high hopes, but gradually we settled for ordinary ” is so true of so many in the world today.

  223. Kim

    Thank you for this post, I too have been through challenges in my marriage and have tried to forgive. I’m not perfect but I try to let go of the hurts and move on like you have done. I would love to read your story and hear how you (as a couple) got through the pain and hurt of an affair.

  224. Sarah

    What a great message!

  225. Debbie

    Unconditional forgiveness is always a challenge for me! I’d love to win this book.

  226. Sidra

    I am interested in this book

  227. Louise

    would love to know more of the story…I too struggle with forgiving unconditionally…

  228. Valerie

    I’ve been married for almost 3 years and I’m curious what the warning signs are so I can take note of it. Would love to read your book.

  229. Rachel D.

    I would love to read more about this story. Thanks for the chance.

  230. Heather

    Would love to read this book!!!

  231. Becky

    Thank you – your transparency helps many. Simple often takes effort but it’s worth it

  232. Meredith

    Sounds like a very challenging book! I’d love to read it.

  233. Mary

    What a great reminder/wake up call for anyone who is married! I would be very happy to have a copy of this book!

  234. Heidi

    I was just listening to the Davis’ in a radio interview this afternoon. I would love to read their book!

  235. SARS

    Forgiveness is not for the one who has wronged you, it is for yourself.

  236. Da

    Thank you. A friend and I were just praying about this very issue

  237. Angela

    I have a hard time forgiving too. I’m not sure how to completely trust. Hoping to win this book to read the story!

  238. Susan

    Thanks for sharing this. I’d love to learn more.

  239. Sarah R

    This couple’s story is one I would love to hear more of. The idea of the little daily annoyances and unforgivenesses piling up is truly something I have been struggling with! It is difficult to know how to work through them.

  240. Carissa

    I would love to win!

  241. Christie

    Sounds like a good book!

  242. Kanae

    Thank you for the article. Somehow I always thought simple means easy but your message made me realize it’s not so always. I would like to read your book!

  243. Casey

    I would love to read this book!

  244. Bekah

    Regarding an issue in my marriage, my best friend made a comment about how I seemed to be taking all the blame on myself and not holding my husband accountable for his actions. I told her I knew what he did was wrong, and there were consequences to those actions, but how could I expect him to forthright with me, to try to build trust back, when I have my own issues to deal with as well? For me, it was much easier to forgive him when I realized that I’m imperfect as well. If I’m imperfect and am still given grace by God, and deserve forgiveness from my husband, surely I can do the same for him.

    I don’t always get it right, but I realize that if I look inward and be the change I want to see, it’s easier to forgive and heal. Although it’s not always fun, it’s much easier in the long run than expecting him to. It also gives him strength and courage to do it himself. Not because I nagged, but because he sees how much better it is.

    I look forward to reading Beyond Ordinary. I’m excited about it and I don’t even own it yet. Soon it’ll be on my bookshelf!

  245. Marla Taviano

    I would love to win!

  246. Paula

    Oh, this is so good and so important to hear!

  247. estelle

    keep forgiving but cant seem to make it stick. sigh.

  248. Erin

    I would say I forgive people, but I know I do not. Once I am hurt it is there in my heart for ever. I know I am the one who then continues to hurt…but it’s just so hard. A continual work in progress I guess! I have bookmarked this article to go back and retread again. Thank you for such insight.

  249. Whitney

    I would love to read your book! This may be what I need.

  250. Lindsey

    Pick me! This is a great reminder about forgiveness. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  251. PL

    Forgiveness is an area I had never pursued, until I was forced to. This has been a hard year for our marriage, but God is teaching me so much about forgiveness. When you think about it, we would never be able to truly have a heart like Christ’s, a heart that knows how to forgive, if He protected us from other’s wounds and never gave us the opportunity to learn how to forgive. And one thing I have really learned about forgiveness is this: it is all about Him. I really can’t do this whole forgiveness thing on my own. It is all grace. So thankful He finishes what He starts! (Phil. 1:6) this gives me hope on the hard days.

  252. Laurel

    Forgiveness is hard.

  253. Abc619

    Would love to win a copy! You put the words to my emotions! Felt like I was reading my own heart. There are many obstacles in a marriage. Learning to forgive completely is only accomplished with the help of gods strength.

  254. Jennifer

    Forgiveness really is hard! But it is so freeing. It seems like the person most hurt by resentment is yourself.

  255. Chelsie

    Your words spoke to my heart. I’m a 22 year old, single mother of two. My husband left almost a year ago. I think we’re beyond repair, but I have a lot of unforgiveness. I would like to read more about the wisdom God has given you.
    Thank you for this post.

  256. Kristen T.

    Loved reading your post today, and would love even more to be able to read your book. Thank you for being so open in sharing your life with all of us!

  257. Patty Pivirotto

    would love to read this book!

  258. Emily B

    “Where resentment lives, intimacy dies.” Wow, that really hit home.

  259. eileen marie

    What a beautiful message. I especially like the idea that conditional forgiveness isn’t really forgiveness. I try hard not to harbor grudges, but deep down, I always feel that little pocket of bitterness, long after the transgressor has forgotten, and I really need.to.let.it.GO.

  260. LoriSF

    I would love to win this book! My husband and I are going through a really tough time right now. I need to learn how to forgive and “get past the past”.

  261. Hallie

    The message of this book is so important to me! I would love to read it! Thanks for sharing your life and for encouraging me!

  262. Helena

    Your story hit home. I am unable to forgive my ex-husband and have carried this burden with me for ten years. It weighs heavily on the heart and embitters your every day. I have prayed about it and have truly tried to forgive but to no avail. I am going to try to own the statement you made and that has been a hurdle impossible to overcome; “if I forgive him, it is as if I am admitting defeat, and he has won.” But indeed resentment is like a cancer, poisons your life, your relationships, your outlook on life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  263. Jen

    Such food for thought for all of life’s relationships. Thank you!

  264. Alix

    Beautiful words and great wisdom lesson.

    I was abused as a child and thourout my lifetime by my own mother, and have been wondering about forgiveness lately, with that exact same fear that if I forgive her for what she’s done for so long, then the evil in her wins.

    I am seeking the source of forgiveness right now at the bottom of my heart.

    -Alix

  265. Jenni

    I would love to read your book. Thanks for the chance to win!

  266. Christie W.

    “Like most married couples, we began with high hopes, but gradually we settled for ordinary and failed to recognize the warning signs, until we almost lost all we hold dear.”

    Me too!
    Our failings to love each other well nearly saw us losing all in much the same manner. Thankful to God for the light that exposes darkness and the ability we have to chose to let His strength guide us toward humility, repentance and redemption – I love your story!

  267. Nicole H.

    I struggle with this daily in my marriage. I really do need a decluttering of the mind. Thank you for sharing your insight.

  268. Kate

    What an amazing post. I would love to reach the whole book!

  269. Alexis D

    Great post! I would love to read the book! Thanks 🙂

  270. Crystal C.

    So true. Thanks for the chance to win the book!

  271. Charissa

    What an awesome post on forgiveness!! I need this reminder daily!

  272. Keerthi

    I am not good at forgiving. I got better but I still need to go a long way.

  273. Jamie K.

    “Conditional forgiveness is not really forgiveness. And it can do just as much damage to your heart and relationships as unforgiveness.”

    So much wisdom in those two sentences.

  274. dA

    i need this book as i just learned my husband has been involved in an inappropriate relationship with a woman who is now bent on making my life miserable. in a moment of complete realization last week, i understood that i do not want to forgive him and that i want him to feel the suffering and hurt that i have felt. this feels like a different kind of forgiveness because of the intimate betrayal. i know what is right but the process is just beginning and my heart is still wrestling and processing… please tell me that miracles do happen, that our marriage can grow and change…

  275. Dona Bumgarner

    In my own life, I found it so much easier to embrace forgiveness for others when I learned how to forgive myself. I’ve been amazed that the power of forgiveness in my relationship has been to bring us so much closer than we would have been without the struggle.

    I’d love to read the rest of your story, too!

  276. kat whitesel

    I loved hearing you guys speak at my church and would love to have a copy of your book!!

  277. Jennifer

    Thank you for sharing this wisdom. I would love to read more.

  278. Jamie

    Thank you for opening your heart and sharing with us! Would love to win a copy!

  279. Rachel Papka

    I need this book. If it can shed some light on my marriage and the dire situation it is in, I might have a chance at saving it.

  280. Michelle

    “Unforgiveness is a weapon that wounds its user” – That is so true! Appreciate your powerful article.

  281. Lisa

    I am a 35 and have been married for three years (9/4/10) and together for seven. I am meeting with an attorney on Monday to explore my options of separation and/or divorce. It is not what I want but my husband has an alcohol and drug addiction that is destroying everything I love, including him. With the addiction come lies, cheating, and all the unknowns. I’m so sad, hurt, angry and a million other emotions wrapped in this cloud of pain. I listened to the podcast from Focus on the Family this morning (and yesterdays) and it spoke volumes to me. I sat at my desk with tears streaming down my face, thanking God for putting these podcasts and your story in my path. I made lots of notes and have bookmarked the podcasts to listen to again, if I need. I would love to read your book.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  282. Karen R

    Your book really spoke to me when I read it on my Kindle. I would love a hard copy version to mark up and hopefully make it easier to share with my husband.

  283. Beth Smith

    Would love to read this and pass it on to a newly married couple I know.

  284. Nikki

    Beautiful reminder to keep pursuing the deep part of my heart. Thanks!

  285. Rachel

    Just heard your story on Focus on the Family today…the humility I heard in your voices was a rebuke to me, and I know God has blessed you for it.

  286. littlebird

    A wonderful idea to share this. Would love to read it!

  287. Heather

    sounds like a great read…

  288. Sunena

    This article really spoke to me. I have passed it on to my best friend. We both need to forgive and as mentioned, move on from ordinary to extraordinary.

  289. Chris

    I have been following you and Josh for a while now. It has been your story that has given me hope that my marriage can be repaired. Forgiveness is such a hard thing at times, but it is the trust that is the hardest to rebuild. I would love to have your book to read and gain even more insight.

  290. Sara

    Really great reminder, thanks!

  291. Annette Stonger

    Yes, I get exactly what you are saying! I was a victim of betrayal in my first marriage, and I knew that I had to forgive because Christ has forgiven me. It was a choice not a feeling, and something I had to do over and over again (and still do after 14 years). Over the years, I’ve tried to take the high road, and bite my tongue because we had two children together, but it’s not been easy. I am thankful that God has healed and continues to heal your marriage. I feel blessed beyond measure that God allowed me to find someone to love and share my life with again.

  292. carrie

    Definitely interested in reading this book–thanks!

  293. Jessica

    Forgiveness is something I really struggle with.

  294. Erin

    Always good to learn from others’ mistakes so hopefully I don’t make the same ones. I’d love to read this book!

  295. kim from Canada

    Thank you for this story! Would love to read this book!

  296. Sarah Westphal

    Would love this book!

  297. Misty W.

    Forgiveness takes both of you to work.

  298. Deja

    Wow, after 17 years, I can relate to all of this.

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