daisies

7 benefits of imperfection

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by Tsh

Tsh is the founder of this blog and lives in Bend, Oregon with her husband and 3 kids. Her latest book is Notes From a Blue Bike, and believes a passport is one of the world's greatest textbooks.

This is a guest post from Rachel Meeks of Small Notebook.

I have a lot of ideal goals at the beginning of each day. There’s so much inspiration everywhere I look, and my list of projects, ideas, and new things to try is a mile long. Some days I can only spend time on one or two extra things, or three if I’m lucky, in addition to my everyday responsibilities. I want to cook healthy meals. Keep a clean, comfortable home. Play with my daughter and do fun things with her. Why do I so often feel like I fall short in my role?

I wish I had it all together, but there are some days when I very clearly don’t. And that’s fine. For all of my good intentions, there will never come a day when I can cross every single item off of my to-do list. I can accomplish several things, but just not at the same time. If the kitchen’s sparkling, there might be toys in the living room. If the toys are picked up, the dining table could be cluttered. I’m learning to be ok with that, and to find a different way to measure the day’s success.

I don’t want to be a supermom who can do everything. It sounds exhausting. Thankfully, there’s a positive side to all of my shortcomings:

1. Flaws help people relate to you. Who would you rather talk to about a problem — someone you know will understand, or someone who would never have messed up so badly? One of my mentors said that it wasn’t until she started sharing more about her family’s struggles that other people felt comfortable opening up and sharing with her too.

boy painting
Photo by Mo Riza

2. Making mistakes teaches your children that they can make mistakes too. If we had to do everything right the first time, we would never attempt anything. I love watching my little girl run around with her arms flailing and squealing with joy. I don’t know how many times she fell down while she was learning to walk. I want her to be willing to dive right in and try new things without expecting to do them perfectly. Letting your kids see you make mistakes teaches them how to react: do you get mad and upset, or do you fix it and move on?

3. Imperfections make you more authentic. Be real. I’m not suggesting that we should dwell on our faults and failures, I just don’t want to hide them. Is there anything better than honesty?

4. Admitting your mistakes strengthens your relationships. Asking for and receiving forgiveness is an important part of true, lasting relationships. Being willing to let others help you develops community, instead of trying to do everything yourself. Sometimes people won’t know how to help unless you ask.

5. Overlooking shortcomings shows your family that they are more important than things or agendas. I like how it’s ok to break a glass, or to have extra laundry because of spills and stains. When my child runs to me, I want to scoop her up and hug her, not stop to ask “what’s that on your shirt?” I like when she wants to help me wash dishes, even though it takes twice as long and I end up soaked in soapy water.

6. Mistakes give you something to laugh about later. My husband loves to tease me about all the times I’ve set food on fire while cooking. I like to remind him about the time he stuffed so much cilantro into the disposal that it erupted, and he had to go after it with a plunger. We both laugh about when he drove away with a cup of coffee sitting on top of the car.

7. Inadequacies can inspire. Wouldn’t it be nice if everything went smoothly all the time? Perhaps, but it would also start to be pretty boring. That’s why we love stories about the underdog, makeovers, and an unlikely hero. Being in a place of need gives you the golden chance to see a difficult situation redeemed and hope answered.

If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need anything. I think God designed us to be imperfect so that we can depend on him. Maybe we are perfectly imperfect. It’s grace that covers all of our deficiencies. If we understand that, then we can extend more grace to others.

Being perfect is something that I will never attain, no matter how hard I try. I still want to bless my family with clean laundry, good food to eat, and fun experiences shared, but I’m no longer striving for perfection in all of it. There’s a freedom that comes with “good enough”, and instead of being perfect, I can learn to be generous, compassionate, kind, and loving. Those things will make a far more lasting impact on my family.

More to read:

Rachel is a wife and mom living in Texas. She made July a “No Spend Month” and writes about it and other ideas for a simple home at Small Notebook. She frequently burns the toast, sometimes even setting it on fire.

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Comments

  1. Great post Rachel!

    Have a wonderful day!

    Jenny :)

    LobotoMEs last blog post..{ week 3 – NO spend month }

  2. Thank you Rachel.
    That is just what I needed this morning.
    Ivy

  3. This was a good way to start my day. Thanks Rachel. Very well written.

    I love #4…it’s the hardest for me to do but has a huge impact when I do.

    Nancys last blog post..A Strange Thing Happened (on vacation)

  4. I cannot express how much I needed this today and how it spoke to me. I woke up feeling overwhelmed by my to-do list (expecting my first child in a little over a month), and paralyzed. I felt like I was falling short in every area getting ready for this baby and getting our home ready. Thank you.

    Julias last blog post..Ohdeedoh Scavenger: Best of 07.16.08

  5. SO very true. I must forward this to my husband. Who loathes mistakes.

    All Adithers last blog post..Five rants and raves (because my opinions are super important)

  6. These are great. I need to remember all these reasons to be grateful for my mistakes.

    It’s so easy to with only for perfection without seeing the lessons I teach from my imperfection.

    I’d really hate to think of my daughters as grown-ups trying to attain some unattainable standard that I seemed to set.

    World’s Greatest Mommys last blog post..1+1+1+1+1=Fun

  7. Well said, Rachel! I loved this post!

  8. Wow! This was a great post! I have been in this thought mentality for a couple months too but could never put it in words so nicely as you. I went to your site and am inspired. I’m adding you to my blog list!

    Mindys last blog post..Strawberry Cake

  9. avatar
    Chrsiti~berrymomma says:

    What a great reminder! Once again you have blown me away with your ability to express so beautifully a simple wisdom. I used to think common sense was common, but don’t we all need those reminders? Thank you, Rachel. You are a gem!

  10. I loved reading this encouraging post! What a great post! It was such an encouragement for me. I always love reading what you have to say and I always learn something valuable from your posts. This post is a fabulous reminder of what really does make life richer and more beautiful. I needed to read it today too. Thank you for sharing such good stuff.

    Kirstin Suzanne

    Kirstin (Daisey)s last blog post..3 1/2 Week Old Ryker

  11. Great post! I really enjoyed reading it today :)

    Ambers last blog post..Blog Break.

  12. I couldn’t agree MORE! :-)

    ktbunchs last blog post..Well, it wasn’t the BEST camping trip…..

  13. avatar
    Lisa Mae says:

    Great post! :-)

  14. I loved your post today and I’m going to bookmark your blog for regular checks. I am a new mom, and as I read your blog today I thought, “yes, yes, yes!” Thank you for sharing.

    http://www.katolinfamily.blogspot.com

    Andreas last blog post..Lars

  15. I’m so glad I’m not the only less than perfect person.

  16. Greta post and it goes to show that perfection is not out there nor should it be! Be real, and be happy!
    http://www.lifeislikechampagneblog.com/

    happyathomes last blog post..Crazy Cucumbers!

  17. Awesome post, Rachel! These are great reminders…

    Jessicas last blog post..Favorite Things from Liz

  18. Great post, and thanks for the link Rachel! Hope my failings as a mother encourage someone :)

    That should be my mission statement ;)

  19. Thanks for the encouragement. It is such a challenge to be a mother.

    Jessica @ Practical Nourishments last blog post..Forgiveness and Love

  20. That was really encouraging. I especially have been learning not to put my agendas above the feelings of others!

  21. Really Nice ; It gives feeling that it is directly written from heart.

  22. I’m so happy I found your blog. I think I might make it my homepage! Great information.

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