Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. I like this. Something to think about today. I do NOT knit because I don’t like how much longer knitting takes than crocheting. I’ve tried knitting a few things, but the slow progress meant I usually abandoned the project before it was done. So, yes, yes yes. Product person. It’s why I get frustrated in life and in motherhood. I know this, but not always sure how to remedy it.

    I read a book recently that I loved (The Quotidian Mysteries by Kathleen Norris). There was an idea in it that really stuck with me–that we entangle and frustrate ourselves when we try to get everything done “once and for all”, when in reality the ONLY thing that’s ever been done “once and for all” was Christ’s sacrifice for our salvation. Nothing, nothing else in life gets the final stamp of “finished product”. It was a really humbling thought.

  2. i’ve just recently come to this realization… i love that your mother and grandmother echoed those same sentiments in your presence. that made me smile.

  3. Oh, this is such a good reminder for those of us who like to check off lists! I teared up at the comments made by your mother and grandmother…amazing what “work” we get to do! May we remember that among the trials and celebrate the progress when it is recognizable. Sometimes it gets even more difficult for me to glimpse now that we have entered tween years. There aren’t milestones to it, or tasks to accomplish (like potty training or riding a bike), there are just consistent days of rising to the task, doing the hard work, encouraging the wearing, guiding the wounded and shaping selves. It is good work, but not often measurable.

  4. As the 68 year old mother of a 46 year old daughter I can assure you parenting is a process that doesn’t end until one of you dies. We’re more friends than parent/child now but she occasionally still comes to me for feedback on a decision she is pondering before she makes her decision. To me, that means I did a better job of parenting in her younger years than I thought at the time that I was doing. You are, too.

    • Linda, I am 71, parent of 2 adult children and grandmother of four. You are right, it does not end. The relationship changes, but it is still there.

  5. I am a product person for sure, which has been an issue in raising children. Parenting never ends, not even when they marry, move away, and have their own children. I am learning to enjoy the journey instead of always asking, “Are we there yet?”

  6. Great and awesome post! Thanks for that because I sometimes find myself just wanting my daughter to take a shower solo and without drama. I am convinced that she was a cat in a previous life she hates having a shower. This post made me realize that it really isnt so bad and perhaps all too soon she will not even want me to shower with her or need my help so much. The change will be welcome in some ways and in others not so much. She is currently six and I miss the days when she fit in my arms.

  7. I live with my daughter, son-in-law, and two young granddaughters. I am still astounded by the way my daughter parents; she certainly has skills that she didn’t get from me! I will never get tired of watching her, learning from her, and loving those little girls with her as we all grow together. The process is delightful, and the product is pretty darn sweet, too!

  8. Wow, that last thought of the mothers of many generations weighing in – that’s a powerful picture! I fall mostly toward the process knitting type. But, a lot of things have winded down in my life recently and it seems like new beginnings are coming, but I am in a weird state of uncertainty. Our church closed down, my husband got a new job, we moved, remodeled our house and got pregnant all within the last year. It’s been a ride for sure and we’ve had a lot of fun in the process…but now nothing major is going on. We just slowed down and I am finding that’s really harder for me. I like the beginnings of things, not the ends. So we’re destined to start something new sometime soon, but in the meantime I guess I’m learning to “enjoy” the process of waiting and hopefully learning to be more present. Thanks a lot for your post – it was really helpful for me to ponder at this point in my life.