avatar

by Prerna Malik

Living in India with a heart that wishes to see the world, Prerna works with her husband, bakes with her daughter, shares her life at The Mom Writes and frees up time and creates content and community for time-starved entrepreneurs at Social Media Direct.

boysplaying

Stepping back so that our kids can move forward

Honesty time: I’m a helicopter mom. I hover – a lot. There could be a gazillion reasons for it, but that’s not the point. The point is I can be overprotective and well, hovering.

However, this summer, I’ve been stepping back. It’s been tough. But the results are so worth it.

I’ve seen my little girl blossom, bloom, and become so much more confident than she ever was.

Here are the two simple things I did to consciously step back and still stay involved.

1. Let her lead

Whether it was a board game, art class, or walks together, I let her lead and I went along. She enjoyed making the decisions and choices for the activities and things she liked.

From the books she wants to read to choosing dishes at a restaurant to the games she wants to play on the iPad, I let her lead.

Yes, we still have the final say, especially if something isn’t in sync with our values or appropriate for her age.

But letting her know that I trust her choices has probably been the simplest and yet most powerful thing to do. And when I disagree, I tell her respectfully and gently why something isn’t appropriate for her, instead of hovering and making the decision for her.

2. Don’t interfere unless she’s in danger

The second thing I did, which was really way more difficult, was to let her be and not interfere, unless of course she was in danger.

Honestly, in the last few months, there haven’t been any dangerous situations that she’s been in. And now that I think of it, other than a freak accident with a coloring pencil when she was two, she hasn’t been in any dangerous situation.

So, I let her be.

Yes, even writing the words still seems tough for this helicopter parent to do.

But stepping back and letting her explore, create, try, experiment, I’ve seen her grow so much – it just amazes me.

Even though we do have our children’s best interests at heart, even though we want to protect them and keep them safe, sometimes stepping back is the only way they can move forward and into their own.

Join the Conversation
smiling

Reviving the art of smiling

Being more of a homebody than anything else, I’ve been trying to make an effort to get out of the house more often, simply to just be outdoors and get some much-needed Vitamin D. During my short trips outside the four walls of my home, I’ve noticed a strange but increasingly common trend: unsmiling people. (read more…)

Join the Conversation
reading

How to raise a bilingual child (the simple way)

“Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.” ― Rumi Yes, Rumi may be right about words being a pretext and the inner bond drawing one another closer, but in the world that we live in, words play an important role – and the language they’re (read more…)

Join the Conversation
simple mom banner

A support system… in social media

It had been a long, long day. Talking to clients, dealing with deadlines, heading to a play date, and the usual routine of making dinner, cleaning up, pretend playing, and reading with my 5-year old. I was exhausted, and so was my husband. We work together and sometimes, we need a support system other than each (read more…)

Join the Conversation

How to work happily ever after with your spouse

“Will you be able to pull it off?” nagged a little voice inside my head when my husband and I decided to go into business together in 2011. The decision did come after a lot of thought and brainstorming, planning and strategizing, but still there was this little voice inside that asked repeatedly, “Will it (read more…)

Join the Conversation