About Crystal Ellefsen

Crystal Ellefsen lives in San Diego with her husband and son, where she writes, works, explores, thinks, drinks coffee, writes, makes videos, paints, doodles, sings, and writes some more. Until recently, she published here and elsewhere as Crystal Hadidian, the 'single parenting contributor' around these parts.


Wearing a watch, being sexy, and changing habits

I started wearing a watch last month and it has changed my life. Okay, maybe that’s a mild exaggeration.

I’ve been getting very serious lately about a lot of habits I want to change. Through lots of failed attempts at change, I’ve learned a lot about what doesn’t work for me, how I stay motivated, and the particular strengths and challenges of my personality.

I think I have now created a system that will work for me as I strive to create a life of intention that is rooted in my values, not just compulsions.

I’m calling this personal project, “Responsible is the New Sexy.” Why I chose that name is a long story. Part quirky, part serious.

The idea is to focus on one area of my life each month and make specific, but realistic progress in that area. I often try to make 100 changes all at once and then (shocker) get discouraged when I can’t accomplish decluttering, financial planning, healthy eating, exercising, and more in one month.

For me it’s a way of simplifying simplification.

A key component here is that I want to be intentional to acknowledge and celebrate the progress I make, instead of just focusing on everything that I havn’t yet accomplished. And I want to focus on those small changes (like wearing a watch) that can move me forward, even if they don’t seem drastic.

official mets watchPhoto by Jamie

Why a Watch?

The reason I started wearing a watch was because I realized that I was carrying my phone around the house with me all the time simply because I wanted to know the time.  We don’t have clocks on the wall, the clock in my car is broken, and in general, it’s become a habit over the past 10 years to use my phone as my primary time-piece.

The problem with carrying my phone around is that I end up compulsively checking it. I’d find myself scrolling through Instagram and think, “Why am I doing this? I don’t want to be doing this right now.” The problem wasn’t just some evil monster forcing me to check social media.

The problem was me.

I had allowed myself to make a habit out of picking up my phone and opening distracting applications. I wanted to change that. And I realized that getting a watch would be one small step in that direction. One less reason to keep my phone within reach. One more reason to make me pause before picking it up.

Small Steps are Still Steps

Now, I try to leave my phone in a specific place in my home, almost as if it was connected with a cord (gasp!). I havn’t fully made the habit transition, but I can tell you it’s better than it was before. And that’s good enough for right now.

In addition, the watch I’m now wearing has sentimental value. I found my Grandmother’s old watch, replaced the band and the battery and now my 6th generation Texas roots are there for all to see on my arm.

Changing habits | The Art of Simple

This is just one small step that is helping me be more intentional about how I spend my time. Specifically, it’s about reducing screen time, but it’s also just a healthy disruption in other ways.

It’s often small habit changes that help us make lasting shifts toward aligning our actions with our values.

What small shift can you make that helps you be more intentional about screen time or aligning your values and habits?

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