The Same, But Better — & 3 Other Ways to Spend Valentine’s Day

Kyle and I have been married 17 years, and while I don’t hate Valentine’s Day, we also haven’t made a major effort to celebrate it. It’s challenging to get out on that specific day, and even if it weren’t, it’s also just a day.

But I get that there’s pressure to make it a Thing, either extrinsic or intrinsic, and that’s okay. If you’re feeling like you wish you could go out on a lovely date this Valentine’s Day, but babysitting is too expensive, or one of you has to work, or it’s otherwise not feasible to get out, perhaps our own plans will give you a boost of encouragement. 

Here’s how we’re spending this Valentine’s Day.

1. The same, but better.

We’re making our usual homemade pizza, but this time we’ll also add a bottle of wine, we’ll add some popcorn in our movie night, and we’ll make a dessert (this is on my short list). We might toss in a board game, if we’re not too tired. Basically, what we almost always do on Friday nights, but which zhuzh.

2. Simple, and with the gift of time.

We don’t want to spend much money, and we both recently confessed to feeling in need of some personal time (we’ve both been working a lot lately). So, we’ve scheduled time within the next month for each of us to claim a day to rest — do whatever. Not a flat-out holiday, not a check-out day to go nuts, just a day to be. The gift is in not working. It’s the best gift I could think of right now.

3. Celebrate other kinds of love.

Our kids will be with us for Valentine’s Day, and that’s perfectly fine with me. It might be my kids’ ages, but right now, I’m not feeling the need to escape from them, I’m more in the need to relish in more quality time with them. (That’s not always the case, so if you aren’t saying the same thing right now — I’ve been there, too.)

They’ll have that movie night with us, and also that popcorn and dessert, too. It would also be fun to have coffee with a friend earlier in the day, if I had the time.

Love comes to us in different ways, in different relationships.

4. Ultimately, nothing — because later.

We’re going on a date later. In my mind, there’s nothing particularly special about February 14. Right now these days we try to go on a date at least twice a month — once out for dinner, then once out for a quick drink in our neighborhood. Knowing that’s on the table means I’m very, very cool with not spending tons of money going to an overcrowded restaurant specifically on Valentine’s Day.

What are your V-Day plans?

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9 Comments

  1. Lindsey J // BRAVE LIFESTYLE BLOG

    We too are not getting dressed up to go out to an overcrowded restaurant. We’re dropping our kiddos off at church for a FREE night of childcare & heading back to our house for a puzzle & simple dinner. We don’t even know what yet, but we’re looking forward to the time together. Just the two of us. No distractions. Except for this crazy puzzle, we’ve been wanting to make headway on.

    Reply
    • Tsh Oxenreider

      That sounds lovely!

      Reply
  2. Torrie @ To Love and To Learn

    We always celebrate the holiday on the day after, because everything is half off at all the stores, ha ha! We do a special dinner with our kids, and we try to write a nice note or do something else special for each other. No reason to spend a ton of money on that particular day, like you said!

    Reply
    • Tsh Oxenreider

      Sounds just about right!

      Reply
  3. Kim Turner McCulley

    Valentines Day is our 38th wedding anniversary. We rarely go out to eat on that day because we dislike crowds. My husband rented a cute little cabin with a lake view for the weekend. We’ll enjoy simple meals in our cabin, rest, relax, read, and maybe play games. I’m so excited! Cabins are my love language. 🤣

    Reply
    • Tsh Oxenreider

      Happy anniversary! That cabin sounds heavenly.

      Reply
  4. Deborah Nam-Krane

    I have a fear of restaurants and even take out on Valentine’s Day 🙂 Our big date this Friday will be going to the Museum of Fine Arts in our city during the afternoon, then coming home and making dinner for the kids, as usual. We’ll probably watch a movie from Hoopla, but that’s also part of our usual routine. Really, it’s just nice to spend time together.

    Reply
    • Tsh Oxenreider

      Sounds lovely!

      Reply
  5. Amy

    Never a restaurant ON this day, because – crowds. 🙁 Some years we’ve gone out the day before or after. This year my husband will spend his day driving to get one of our kids and a roommate from college to spend the long weekend home. I’ll be shlepping another to gymnastics. We exchanged lovely cards (his words always make me cry) which is our normal on V-day. I wrote him a “Liturgy of Thanksgiving for the One I Love” because I’ve been loving the book “Every Moment Holy” and felt particularly inspired. We’ll eat pizza when everyone gets home. And we’ll go to sleep in the same bed tonight. 🙂

    Reply

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