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3 benefits of a mentor (and how to get one)

One of my greatest fears in life is that I will be the same person at 76 that I am at 36; that I will have the same hangups as an older woman that I had as a younger woman.

Instead, I want to be someone who is constantly learning and improving, but I that I can’t do that on my own. I need to learn from the wisdom of others.

So, I recently put myself waaaaaaay out on a limb, with much fear and trembling, and asked two people I greatly admire it they would mentor me.

Shockingly, they both said yes.

My blogging/business mentor is none other than Tsh. And my personal/motherhood mentor is my pastor’s wife. Her name is Laura.

How a mentor can help you

Here are a few reasons why I think it’s so vital to have wise women speaking into our lives and a few tips on how you can find a mentor:

1. A mentor leads the way.

If I take my family on a hike, I walk on the trail. I don’t fight through the bramble. Someone took the time to clear the obstacles so that I can enjoy the scenery and travel much farther then if I’d had to clear the way myself.

A mentor can guide us to the smoothest path.

Tsh knows a lot about blogging. She can help me navigate the constantly rushing waters of the blogosphere without getting swept away. And because I regularly share my goals with her, she can help me stay on track.

Laura has four amazing older children. Whatever she did as a mom worked exceptionally well. She has been through every stage I’m going through and she has gained so much wisdom along the way.

We can save an enormous amount of heartache and effort by simply learning from women who have cleared the path.

2. A mentor sees our potential.

We can’t see ourselves.

Even the best golfer in the world needs a coach to point out how and where they have room to improve.

We need people outside of our heads and our circumstances to see where we are struggling and where we are succeeding so that they can point out high impact changes we can make.

3. A mentor isn’t afraid to ask the hard questions.

Laura often asks me hard questions. For example, my goal is to be offline on Sunday. I want it to be a family/rest day. So when I replied to an email of Laura’s on a Sunday, she immediately asked if I needed to be online. She wasn’t trying to be picky, but she knew my goal and lovingly steered me back towards it.

It is oddly comforting to be asked hard questions.

When Laura asks how my marriage is doing or when Tsh asks how my blogging goals are coming, it reminds me that I’m not alone.

I have amazing women behind me, pushing me to be the best I can be and that is deeply motivating.

How to Find a Mentor

Odds are, a mentor isn’t going to walk up to you and ask you to be their mentee (That’s actually a word.).

If that happens? Bonus. But until then, here are a few tips on finding a mentor and making it easy for them to say yes.

1. Ask the people you most admire.

Don’t be afraid to ask anyone. Think about the people you most admire in each area of your life. For me, that was Tsh and Laura.

I felt a bit ridiculous asking them because I know how busy they are, but I figured I’ll never know if I never ask.

So, go for it. At best they’ll say yes, and at worst they’ll be flattered you asked, even if they don’t have time.

2. Know what you want.

Do you need a mentor “coach” or a mentor “counselor” in your life? Meaning, do you need someone who will simply keep you accountable to your goals or do you need someone with whom you need to share your full life situation in order to get back on track?

Being a coach will require considerably less time than a counselor.

Either kind of mentor is fine, but it is vital you know what you need so your potential mentors will know what to expect.

3. Communicate.

Clearly communicate what you hope the mentor relationship will look like.

  • How often you will connect?
  • How will you connect?
  • What area of your life will they mentor you in?
  • How much time they should expect to invest?

For example, I primarily need a mentor “coach” so I don’t meet face to face with either Tsh or Laura. I simply email them once a month with my goals and recap the previous months’ progress.

I do see Laura at church from time to time and Tsh and I chat on Skype, but for the most part it’s a pretty low key commitment for them. Perhaps and hour or two a month.

I think the fact that I kept the commitment low and the expectations clear, helped Laura and Tsh find it in their schedules to mentor me.

Is it Time?

Is it time for you to find a mentor?

You know you’re ready if you have pushed yourself as far as you can go, you are open to and actually want correction, and you’re willing to commit to pursuing realistic goals until they are met.

Our children need moms who are confident with where we are at, yet fighting for who we hope to become.

Now is the time grow, learn and be women who inspire.

Have you ever considered having a mentor? What is one step you can take today towards finding one?

Reading Time:

4 minutes





  1. Lisa

    This is a good idea, but sometimes it makes it sound too busy to add one more thing. Like connecting with a mentor over self improvement. Not that I don’t need it! Holy cow! Do you think a husband would make a good mentor? Or do you think it needs to be someone outside my home. Cuz, boy can he hold me accountable. No joke! πŸ˜‰

    • Kat

      I think the beautiful thing about having a mentor is that I find myself more focused and therefore LESS busy. I am more intentional about my life because I need to communicate what I’m doing and why. It removes so much fluff.

      I think a husband could be a good accountability partner or a business mentor, but I think it’s important to have a female mentor who can offer martial and parental advice when needed too.

      Having a husband as an accountability partner is certainly a step in the right direction, though!

  2. Johanna

    I am so glad to read this today! I do this for home/mothering but as a brand new blogger I hesitate to ask anybody because I know nothing and I’m a nobody in the blog world. I’ll have to think about it…and get brave enough!

    • Kat

      First of all, you are a somebody. I firmly believe that if 1 person is impacted by a blog, that is a big-time blog!

      But I hear what you mean. You’re new. One thing that might help, would be to get to know bloggers you admire through Twitter and commenting on their blogs. When you feel you are ready for a mentor, you could offer to help them in some way in exchange for the mentorship. There are few bloggers who couldn’t use help! It might make it less intimidating too, since you’d be offering something as well.

  3. Jadah {family sponge}

    I love this! I actually have two women mentors in my life and it is amazing. With one mentor we talk about our goals and projects. And we set clear boundaries not to talk about personal stuff or vent. It’s all positive and about life planning. We talk for 1-2 hours on Monday evenings once a week. We cheer each other on, highlight and brainstorm on where we are slacking and share resources with one another. I would say this is more of a peer mentorship. It’s like having a business partner that helps you with ideas without actually being financially invested in the business.

    My second mentor is twice my age and she is where I want to be. I look up to her. Our mentorship is once a week for an hour. She is very busy, and I am thankful for her time. I help her with her business as an assistant, but she shares tips, tricks and insights to what she does, and it is the best kind of education I could ever receive.

    I highly recommend seeking mentors or at least accountability partners. It is so easy for us as mothers to get lost and unfocused. Thank you for sharing! And how lucky you are to have Tsh has a mentor.

    • Kat

      Wow! What an incredible support system you have. I love hearing how other people do mentorship. Thanks so much for sharing.

  4. Ashley Ann

    This is a great post! I have been thinking a lot about this lately…wondering how I could obtain my Titus2 woman. :] Like you said, I’ll never know if I don’t ask. Thanks again for sharing your insights!!

    • Kat

      You’re welcome Ashley Ann! Even if it takes asking several people, the payoff is well worth the price.

  5. Sleeping Mama

    I’ve never considered having a mentor. I suppose I always think that mentor relationships are created organically, but I never thought to ask someone to be a mentor!

  6. Kika@embracingimperfection

    I do think this is important and have tried twice. The first time was with another blogger online but it didn’t go far b/c we didn’t share the same faith and that limited my ability to be “real” in the relationship. This year I asked a woman from my church to be that person and if we could meet once/mos for coffee. She said yes but the past couple months I haven’t followed through. I really admire her in many respects but I see now that we are so different and I don’t think she “gets me”; since one of my biggest goals at present is to learn to be the real me, this doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel like I am able to be the real, whole, authentic me when we are together. So I’m not sure what to do now. I think I could learn from her in other ways (she is a wonderful person) but the relationship would be different than I had originally intended.

    • Kat

      It’s wise of you to recognize areas where you can learn from her and areas where you can’t. As I mentioned, I have two mentors, Tsh and Laura. I did that because while I admire both, Laura doesn’t blog and Tsh’s kids are younger than mine. So, I’ll learn from both, but in different areas of my life. I think it would be hard to find a mentor that can offer advice on every area, so we take bits and pieces of wisdom where we can find it. I hope you find a mentor situation that makes you thrive!

      • Kika@embracingimperfection

        Thanks for the encouragement, Kat. I sent an email to set up our next coffee date.

        • Kat


  7. Keya @ Nouished Motherhood

    I’ve actually been praying for a mentor for a couple of years now. And also praying for a “spiritual friend” of sorts. It’s taken a while, but the friend ended up being a woman who I’ve known since I was sixteen and is such an “unlikely” candidate (on paper anyway). My “mother mentor” has recently showed up in my life and she just so happens to be our kids babysitter too. You’re right Kat I think everyone can benefit from a mentor. We all need a little help on this journey we call life.

  8. Kari Scare

    Having a mentor has been on my mind a lot over the past year. Not only that, but being a mentor has been equally on my mind. Yet, I struggle with identifying someone who would fit as a good mentor for me. And, no one has asked me to be their mentor. Maybe both of these points are saying something about me that I don’t want to know. I mean, I’m not seeing it anyway. I have prayed about this in the past, and I need to commit this to prayer more regularly. I also feel like creating a mentoring system at my church is part of this too.

    I had not thought of having a blogging mentor. I would love one but am not sure how to go about getting one. Don’t feel like I’ve connected with any one person enough to ask. I do leave lots of comments, but real connection has not happened for me yet.

  9. Lindsey

    I did not learn a lot during my two years at business school, but one thing I’ll never forget is how strongly correlated having good mentors is with long-term (business) success. I think this can likely be extrapolated into overall success, too. So many discussions I’ve read about the power of mentors neglect to talk about the nuts and bolts of how to identify and approach them, so I find this article particularly relevant.

    • Kat

      I’m glad you liked it Lindsey!

  10. Katie

    I crave mentors.

    In my walk with the Lord. In my parenting. In my marriage. In my writing.

    I need experienced wisdom!

    As I read this post – a few women popped into my mind. I’m gonna pray about it – and move forward.

    Thanks for the nudge.

    Sweet Blessings,
    Kate πŸ™‚

  11. Marianne @Awaken Creativity

    This post was timely as it came to my inbox today. I was just talking to a friend about getting a mentor and how this would be something that I really would like. I wasn’t sure how to go about it…and this post made it so do-able! My mind is racing with possible mentors to ask and this was just the gentle push I needed to make it happen!

    I wonder, is it easier to meet in person or on the phone? Thanks.

    • Kat

      I think that depends on each person’s personality. You could leave it up to your mentor, too – whatever works best for them and fits with your needs.

      You could even just use email or chat on Skype – that has worked well for me with my mentors.

  12. Emily

    I’ve been thinking about this recently too. I always thought a mentor was something that developed over time and never thought about specifically asking someone to serve as a mentor, but it makes sense. I have a few people I would love to ask but since my blog is still fairly new and I’m still learning the DIY ropes I’m nervous to ask somebody. I’ll have to start psyching myself up!

  13. Herbwifemama

    I crave a mentor, and I also feel called to mentor others, but I don’t think I’m ready to do that yet. Been thinking a lot about mentoring lately.

    For me personally, I’m chatty, and need to think out loud to someone, so it’d be a lot of conversations if I’d want someone to be my mentor. (I know who I want, but she’s a busy woman and I’ve never met her, so it’ll just have to be reading her books for me for now.)

    • Bernice @ The Stressed Mom

      Don’t discount the idea that you could mentor someone even now. There is always someone who can learn from your experiences as a wife and mom. Consider someone younger than you, I bet you do have a lot to offer!

  14. Betsy

    Thanks for this post on a topic that I love. I’ve had several great relationships serving as a mentor to younger women, but never had one myself!

    Two years ago while back home in the US for one year, a friendship with an older woman I’ve known 25 years turned into a mentor relationship, and now that I’m back overseas, we e-mail and talk. She gives me advice and counsel on family, relationships, mentoring and counselling! It’s been such an encouragement

    This post is making me think about seeking other mentors for other areas of my life and work.

  15. arianna

    Since I got married I had longed so badly for a woman to motherly-mentor me. Over the summer I ran into a woman I had seen and there who had always seemed to really care. When she asked, “How are you?” I knew she wasn’t looking for “Fine, how about you?” She genuinely cared about me – how my marriage was and being a mom. After I had the notion, I prayed about it for a week, then met her for coffee to make the proposition for her to be my “Titus 2” mentor. We both prayed about it for another week, and felt that it was good. The Lord has blessed our time together immensely and I am SO grateful for her listening ear. She has so much life experience, a tender heart, and deep wells of spiritual insight. I wish I could have been meeting with her since the week I got married!

    • Kat

      That story just makes me smile! How wonderful that you have someone like that in your life. Your whole family will benefit so much.

  16. Hillary

    I’m not sure I know anyone very well who blogs, and I would be looking for a mentor who could counsel me on that angle. Do you think someone who was just overall “internet-marketing” savvy would work?

    • Kat

      Twitter is an incredible way to get to know people. I have met Grammy winning rock stars (who invited my husband and I to their show), CEO’s and everyone in between. All while I sit on my couch eating ice cream with my husband. πŸ™‚

      You might find a blogger who writes like you do and is using their blog in ways you want to use yours and then get to know them via Twitter or commenting on their blog. It may take time, but it’s a great way to connect and develop a relationship.

  17. Nicole

    This is a timely post for me. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, but feel hesitant to ask someone to mentor me. Mostly because those who I would ask are likely super busy AND I wonder if I should be paying them for their help.

    • Kat

      I would have been perfectly willing to go to my mentor Laura’s house and do laundry with her if that’s what it took to gain her time and insight. I didn’t need to, but I’ve seen the mentor relationship to be so helpful, that I’d do whatever is needed to help the free up the time if they are interested in helping me.

      Perhaps you could offer to help them in return in some way?

      • Nicole

        That is a great idea! Thanks for the insight!

      • Ada

        Hi Kat
        I hope this message get to you, i m looking for a mentor about relationship. I m so confusing and could not decide what i want. I need help.
        Please contact me at

  18. Amy

    I had a mentor back when I was youth director. It was one of the best decisions I ever made to put myself out there and ask her. She was the kind of person that asked good hard questions and was not afraid to help me see things from different angles. I love friends, but sometimes they automatically take your side because they want to support you. They don’t challenge you enough. I would love a mentor now that I’m a stay at home mom–and I do have two somewhat “unstructured” mentoring relationships. I do desire something more structured.

  19. The Accidental Housewife

    I know I need a business mentor (I’m just dipping my toe into a new field) but I never even considered having a mentor for the home. I guess we can use guidance and encouragement in every area of our lives. Thanks for sharing!

    …off to find someone to hold me accountable….

  20. Audrey @ Mom Drop Box

    I have honestly never considered getting a mentor. That said, I feel like I’ve learned so much about parenting from reading blogs written by other mothers- way more than I would have thought. So I can see how getting ideas from someone more experienced could be such a great thing. Definitely something I’ll have to think about.

  21. Amy

    What a timely post for me to read. In my search for a better way to nourish my family and maintain our health, I am questioning a lot of things and have been lucky to find people who are further ahead on this journey to help guide me.

  22. Mrs.B

    I think this is a great idea.

  23. catlin Evans

    This is a timely post for me too. I’ve just started a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group and feel way out of my depth and comfort zone as the coordinator. MOPS builds in the role of “mentor” and I feel really blessed to have Doreen, a really wise, warm and caring great grandmother in that role. We had a talk yesterday and she had some advice for me. It was a bit hard to hear. I felt like “dang! I was a least trying to look like I know what I’m doing…” but I knew she was right and knew that I should feel grateful that I have someone that I don’t have to pretend I have it all together for. Just after speaking with her I saw your quote on Facebook “Great women aren’t made inside comfort zones” and it felt like a message just for me – thank you!

    • Kat

      I’m so glad it encouraged you! What a treasure it is to have someone in your life who speaks straight to you. Although, I know, it doesn’t always feel like it! πŸ™‚

  24. Brittnie (A Joy Renewed)

    I do have a mentor who is about 11 years older than me. She is wonderful and it has been SO helpful in many areas of life. We are all on different journeys of life at different times, for different reasons, and mentors are a blessing… we need to take advantage of this gift!

  25. Sammy

    Brilliant post, Kat. A lot of inspiration in bloggers comes from the higher ranking bloggers and so forth. That’s the way it’s been for a long time, either way, the blogging community is branching outwards and upwards.

  26. Kendra

    I found this post very interesting, because this topic has been on my mind a lot lately. I have often talked with people who want a mentor, but don’t know how to go about getting one. I thought it was such an important topic that I wrote a post about it, too!
    So How Do I Find Myself a Mentor?

    I’m so glad you provided this much needed information, and I really enjoyed the points you made.

  27. Katie

    I am currently doing a bible study on Spiritual Mothering, which is basically talking about older/wiser women being mentors to younger women. It’s not necessarily talking about a formal thing but more being in relationship with other women. I feel like a hundred years ago we were surrounded by other women, and we learned from one another. I wonder how much of our loneliness is due the isolation we have from other women and how much of that would be lifted if we all had one or two women we trusted to be there for us. The book is called spiritual mothering by Susan Hunt.

  28. Bernice @ Living the Balanced Life

    “You know you’re ready if you have pushed yourself as far as you can go.”
    I just returned from a blog conference (where I heard Tsh speak!) and I think I am at this point. I am a little scared to take the next steps to do what I want to do, and I think a mentor might be what I need.
    And just a thought. Even though you may need a mentor in some areas of your life, you may also be able to be a mentor for someone else. A mentor is not a person who already has it ALL together in their lives. It depends on the areas you are looking for help or looking to help in.
    Thanks for breaking it down and making it seem not so BIG and possible for many. I have someone in mind already!
    Thanks Kat!

  29. Kerri

    I have been looking at paying a professional life coach to ask me the hard, self discovery questions to propel my life and business forward. I also need accountability. I can only think of men that I know who are in the same line of business and whom I would benefit the most in an internship/mentorship type relationship.[i am very happily married and mother to 5 great kiddos]Should this be out of the question? ALSO, is their a good set of guideline questions out there to assist a mentor with questions and direction for the mentee??

    • Kat

      I think it would depend on how your husband felt about it and what the exact circumstances would be. Perhaps it could be a group mentorship or something so that there isn’t any awkwardness?

      I haven’t researched resources, but I know Michael Hyatt, a popular blogger, has written quite a bit about mentoring. You might get some insight from this post:

  30. oh amanda {impress your kids}

    Oh, Kat! I’m so glad you’re blogging here b/c I think everyone needs to know you.

    I wrote a post about having a motherhood mentor once…and never actually sucked up the courage to ask the people who were in my head to be my mentors. Maybe it’s time?


    • Kat

      I’m pretty sure you don’t need a mentor, Mrs. Awesome Mom! Seriously, you inspire. But I guess even awesome can get awesome-er.

      So, yeah, it’s time. πŸ™‚

  31. Kerry

    Thanks for the article. Mentoring is a passion of mine as I encourage homeschool moms to find a mentor for their teenagers or be a mentor for their teens. I’ve had mentors in all areas of my life (parenting, business, hobbies) and they are truly a blessing.

  32. Steph

    Hmm. I like the idea of different mentors for different areas of our lives. I think it’s easy to think we have to find someone who can help us with everything and then we get discouraged because no one can live up to that.

    • Kat

      So true, Steph! I make that mistake for several years. It’s so much pressure and expectation to put on one person. Having two has been working so well for me!

  33. Joyce

    Awesome post! I’ve been thinking and praying (I guess not hard enough) about this for awhile, but haven’t had anyone come to mind. Maybe I’m overthinking things.

    “Don’t be afraid to ask anyone.” Kat, you better watch out or someone might end up asking you! πŸ˜‰

    • Kat

      Well that would mean I “inspired readers to action” – that would be awesome! πŸ™‚

  34. Jenny

    Thanks so much for this wonderful post. I’ve been very lucky to have what I call “spiritual Moms” or “Moms in Christ” to help me through the beginning years of marriage and parenting. Unfortunately, I’ve recently moved cross country and am missing my conversations with my so much wiser mentors. Maybe it’s time to begin some prayers for me to find someone in my new community.

    • Kat

      Skype is a great way to stay connected with your previous mentors, too, while you pray about new ones.

  35. Magen

    Thank you for this post. I love mentoring others (probably why I became a therapist)! But this post makes me really think about the fact that I desperately yearn for my own mentor but have never actively sought one out. I’m really going to think about this. Thanks!

  36. Becky @ Sowing Little Seeds

    I had a Christian mentor when I was just learning about God, Jesus, the Bible, The Holy Spirit. I had a wonderful woman that saw me one day at church, I had a 10 month old, a 2 year old, and a 3 year old, I was 5 months pregnant with another, my marraige was coming apart, and I was visibly overwhelmed and exhausted. She saw my needs and rather than asking if she could do anything to help (I would have said, “no, it’s ok, I’m fine”), she just did it. She offered me a shoulder to cry on, words of encouragement and hope, and she asked me hard questions. She taught me how to let God take over my life, not just to compartmentalize him. She taught me how to ask myself hard questions and how to find the answers in the Bible or through prayer. I don’t know if she has any idea that God used her to save me. I hope to mentor some young, overwhelmed, and exhausted mother someday.

  37. Summer

    this blogpost has really stayed with me. specifically the sentence:

    You know you’re ready if you have pushed yourself as far as you can go, you are open to and actually want correction, and you’re willing to commit to pursuing realistic goals until they are met.

    i even told my husband about that sentence. because the truth is, those words rang in my head until i realized I AM NOT PUSHING MYSELF AS FAR AS I CAN GO!! i was all into the mentor idea and was thinking of who, and what i want to work on, and realized theres some really obvious steps i can take (starting with severely limiting my computer time so i HAVE the time) and then get working on all the things i know i need to do. and i have brought this subject to the attention of my husband, for his support and accountability. once i’ve exhausted THIS, or i’m not producing results anymore, i’ll know its time for a mentor. in the meantime, i’m going to let this article keep inspiring me to ask myself “what would my mentor tell me to do” and JUST DO IT. thanks, Kat & Tsh

    • Kat

      What a GREAT realization. Seriously. I think many people want a mentor who will “push them up the ladder” – but that will never work. We need to know ourselves well enough and push ourselves hard enough that we make the most of having access to a mentor’s experience and knowledge.

      You can do it Summer!

      • Summer

        thanks Kat for the encouragement. this blog and the writers/ readers are helping me thru so much and the insight and direction you all give is priceless. thank you again!

  38. Heather

    This is something I really struggle with. I feel like I need something, but I have no clue what it is. My blog recently took on a new life, one that is more in line with my goals and dreams and I’ve gone from feeling confident to feeling like I have no clue what I need to be doing to get to the next step.

    As for life, I think it may definitely be time to find a mentor. I have thought about it for my “business life” and what I hope to do, but I had never thought that about finding a mentor for the important things in life.

    This article couldn’t have come at a better time!

  39. janel

    this was a wonderful post. last fall our women’s ministry had a conference and the subject was mentoring. it was such an inspiring call to just join together with Sisters in Christ. However it has been difficult for me to go ahead and interact with the women laid on my heart and asking them to consider a mentoring relationship with me. i think perhaps i’m afraid they’ll say no but in reality that might be best cause there will be someone else that God has lined up. I thank you for being so open in sharing of your own experience with your special and specific mentors.

  40. kalynbr00ke

    I asked someone I truly admired to give me some pointers, but she charged for everything. I’d love to have a mentor who could keep me on the right track…I guess I’m too scared to ask again, because I can’t afford to pay every time we communicate.

    I like how you outlined what you wanted from a mentor. I’m going to work on this and see if I get a good response!

    • Kat

      I’m sure that was disappointing. If you’re needing to stay on track rather than get direction, I wonder if an accountability partner would be helpful?

  41. Megan

    Love this post. I went to my “mentor’s” retirement last year, and my guy thought I was crazy. He has been a great guide to me and my career, and I feel like I am a part of his family now. Some people may think that this is just another “thing to do”, but I wouldn’t know what to do without a mentor!

    I have more than 1, more like 3. Each of them gives me different insight, and each of them is a male. There aren’t many women in my profession that I have met, or could approach to be a mentor. I am fortunate to have 3 people who take time out of their day to help me, guide me, and give me sage advice!

  42. Student Mom (Jenn)

    YES!!!! I have had this on my heart for a while now! I just need to know who… The woman I’d LOVE to have as a mentor has moved to the other side of the country, which is not helpful. I’ve been thinking a lot of her lately, but haven’t spoken to her in years (literally) so she may be stunned if I had to email her asking her to mentor me…

  43. Gary

    Different mentors for different parts of our lives. To think we have to find someone who can help us with everything and get dissaponted when they dont live up to expectations.

  44. Lisa J.

    I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I have several goals that I’ve carried around for years and haven’t been able to truly focus on (blogging is one of them: I’ve started and quit so many blogs!) and I believe a mentor may be what I need. My problem is finding one! Also, I’m new to motherhood, homeschooling, etc., though I’m 41 years old. I often feel like I’m so much older than everyone who is at my stage in life (new mother) and I wonder if a younger woman would feel strange mentoring me. Most people older than I am have teenaged or adult children, not preschoolers! It shouldn’t matter, of course, but I do think about it. At playdates I often feel like a fossil!

    • Kat Lee

      Great question! You know, Tsh is my blogging mentor and she is a couple years younger than me. I think that as long as you don’t feel awkward about it, they won’t either!

  45. K. Nicole

    Hi there, I stumbled upon your blog and I must say that it really helped me in my decisions and questions about what I want to gain from a mentor. I love how you made it very easy to follow along with practical information. I know it’s been a while since you posted this, but I wanted to just say thanks πŸ™‚

    • Kat Lee

      You’re very welcome!

  46. Hope

    Hi, I’m 14 and well.. I’m obviously not a mom, but the woman I want to be my mentor is a mom of three young children. I babysit for them sometimes and they also go to my church. This woman and I really connected when I helped her at vacation bible school. We would both ask each other tough questions, and we were very open with each other. Sadly, at the end of the week we didn’t make any other plans to talk to each other. What I’m asking of the moms out there who read this is.. if you were in that situation.. would you be willing to mentor me, or would you not have enough time? I still babysit for her occasionally, but for us to have more conversations; we’re gonna have to have a longer time to talk. Thank you everyone!!

    • Kat

      I think it’s wonderful that you’re pursuing a mentor at such an early age – that speaks very highly of you!

      I would definitely be willing to mentor in that situation, but life with 3 littles can be very crazy. The mentoring might need to work around that. Perhaps you could come over in the evenings and fold laundry together while you talk. Or you could join her while her kids play at the park?

      I think that if you combined it with something else that needs to be done (or an evening coffee date), she’ll be much more likely to be able to say yes. But even if she can’t, don’t let that discourage you. Keep looking and keep growing!

  47. Hope

    Hey Kat, thanks for giving me your time and advice; I know you must be pretty busy. Just one more question. Do you think I should directly ask this woman to mentor me? Or should I just casually ask her to coffee and go from there? Thanks again!

    • Kat

      Since it sounds like she’s pretty busy, there’s a chance that asking her to mentor you might feel overwhelming for her. I think asking her to coffee and going from there might be the best idea.

  48. Debbie

    I have just started a new blog myself.
    I am very young…
    I wanted to do a blog about mentors and this helped!
    Thanks sooo much!

  49. Anita

    Love this, Kat! So wise, down-to-earth and relatable! As a fellow believer, mom of 3, and blogger/storyteller, I’d love and benefit greatly from both a blog/business mentor and a personal/motherhood mentor, too. Ha! Like you, I immediately thought of one of our former pastors’ wives (a very good friend too) and our current pastor’s wife, either of whom would be such a blessing in the latter role. But I don’t know anyone who could fill the former role for me. I’m knew on the blogging scene (7 months) and don’t know any veteran bloggers personally. If you were available (or we lived closer), I’d ask YOU! hahaha. πŸ™‚ Thank you again.

  50. Emily

    Hi. I don’t have a Mother. She was unfortunately seriously mentally ill all my life and unavailable. Do you have advice for finding a mentor when what you really need is a Mother? I’m a Mom to two kids, I’m grown up and married, but still more than ever I occasionally have these childlike moments where I really want my Mom. It’s a sort of emptiness. Nurturing that I never received. It’s not as if I can ask any of my relationships to fulfill this, maybe I need to see a counselor that would mentor me. This option is cost prohibitive. I have a MIL, but we aren’t close. Thanks for your post and I really really love your podcast. It is so encouraging.

    • Kat Lee

      My story is similar and I’ve found that instead of looking for someone to fill that hole – it’s helpful to look instead for strengths and mentors in a variety of areas. So, if I need a spiritual mentor, I’ll approach one person. If I need a mom mentor, I’ll approach someone else. As far a nurturing goes, it might very well to talk to a counselor to work through the many emotions associated with an absent mom.

  51. Itzel

    Hello Kat, thanks for such an inspiring post. I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently but Im confused about how to find a mentor or counselor…
    I have a clear idea of the things I want in my life, like traveling, constantly learning, blogging, and I have a marketing degree. But I recently quit a job I didn’t like and Im so confused about what should I do now. Find a new job? Star something mine? Move to another city/country where I can get payed more? Stay in Mx city saving so I can go travel someday? Hahaha I have so many things on my mind I don’t even know how to start making a life plan. πŸ™

    Have you ever felt so excited about having many ideas and plans for your life, but completely overwhelmed and frustrated about how to do it?
    Thanks for reading, and again thanks for this post!

  52. favour

    thanks a lot have really helped someone here..thanks for such an inspiring post

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